Amalgam Universe Part 13

[glprime]

Time once again for a dip into the amazing-ly crack-eriffic Amalgam Universe!

When last we left our Merry Metamutants, they were... well, not doing too well.

Sad to say, after a timeskip of unknown length, they aren't actually doing better, but in fact worse.






So, what's been happening since arbre_rieur's last JLX post? Well, apparently a little bit of fear-mongering by Dick Dastar- I mean, Will Magnus -has led to the passing of a cheery bit of legislature called the "Armageddon Agenda" which basically gave him free reign across the world to hunt and destroy metamutants... even at the expense of collateral destruction and death.

Honestly, I have to believe some major mind-spamming had to be going on, because that evil scheme is so bald-faced I can't believe this went down otherwise (though by the logic of the creation of the Amalgam Universe, the stupidity of both Marvel and DC's average citizen has been squared, so...)

But I'm getting ahead of the actual story! More evil plotting's afoot! (Apparently Will's work hasn't gone far enough for some.)




Criss-cross!

Too bad, Hellfire League of Injustice (tch, really?), guess you weren't aware that most demonic entities are Literal Genies

At what remains of Liberty Island, Super Soldier is debating with Amazon, limply trying to defend the Genocide Jurisprudence with the tried and true "the law is the law" argument, which when you think about is something NEITHER Cap or Supes would say, so lazy points to the writer.

F-to-the-3 shows up and hands the Judgement Leaguers their collective asses, but Amazon believes she knows who can help them defeat this enemy of all sentient life on Earth (and just up and leaves the battlefield without any problem).




I really want to know how a shapeshifter can be paralyzed in one-half of a static form, but I guess they really just wanted to push that Professor X connection.

Amazon helps bust out the rest of the still-living JLXers, while Bruce Wayne of S.H.I.E.L.D. (yep, still alive) gets almost-blown-up again trying to shoot down F-Cubed with jet fighters and machismo. No dice.

Along with the JLX, Mr. X determines for raw firepower, he needs to recruit Chaos, catatonic Apollo(Cyclops/Ray)'s brother, who is equal parts Havok's bitchiness and Damian Wayne's bitchiness.

Cue the Paul Oakenfeld score!




Given Nightcreeper's personality, I'll bet in the artist's sketches, he was completely naked, but for decency's sake (and not getting fired), they threw some tights on the guy.

As the team bails out of the aircraft, Iceberg makes her move against F3: F United, but her backup is Runaway, who... yeah, I wouldn't trust somebody with that codename to watch my back.




Damn, 'Creeper, that's just plain cold- *swiftly ducks tomatoes*

Yeah, it's not like the catatonic guy might suddenly wake up in a tense, dramatic moment of need, right? Right?

The plan is enacted, but F 3's Company doesn't seem to care one of his power MacGuffin's been destroyed, because he has enough ham to kill everybody!

Guess what? Apollo keeps kosher, bitch...




Nightcreeper, always with his priorities straight.

Apollo uses his Cyclops-derived sucking power to party-poop all over F-Threesome, who can't even be saved by an "I'll get you next time, suckers!"







I never understood if Amazon was implying she was somehow also a metamutant or what (since that makes no sense with her own title's story).

Oh well! Next time we eat... -wait, no, wrong Internet thing.

Next time's Iron Lantern, which I can almost guarantee will have all the fun of Green Lantern without the suck of Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds.

But I'm off to Texas for the next two weekends, so play nice, kids, because I'll be looking in! ...even when you're sleeping, muhahahahahaha...

Comments

[fifthie]

Literally give Storm that costume in-universe.

[darrylayo]

Joke gone too far.

[wizardru]

That's kind of cracktastic, right there.

[icon_uk]

I really want to know how a shapeshifter can be paralyzed in one-half of a static form,

Psychosomatic paralysis? Or maybe there's an underlying network of shapeshifting "parts" some of which were damaged beyond repair.

[eyz]

One of the very few Amalgam books I had!
Those were the (fun) old days^^

Easily the best to have come out of 90s comics.

[q99]

Who's Fin Fang mixed with? And Runaway?

[oneirosdreams]

Can't speak for Fin Fang, but Runaway is Gypsy and Rogue.

[q99]

Gypsy! Thanks :)

[oneirosdreams]

No problem! :)

[bruinsfan]

Fin Fang Foom was fused with Brimstone from the Legends miniseries.

[nemryn]

Wait, is Mr. X supposed to be J'onn, Xavier, and Bishop? How does Amalgam work, again?

[ladytimedramon]

In some cases it was out and out half dc char, half marvel (I'd say Nightcreeper is that way). In some, it was about 3/4 to 1/4 (Amazon, who actually seems more like 7/8 to 1/8 - IMHO she's more of Donna Troy elemants than Diana, because Ororo was rescued and raised by the Amazons - Diana still exists and was in "Bullets and Bracelets"). In a few cases, 3 or 4 characters were rolled into one (I can't remember the name of Collossus' amalgam, but he was supposedly a cross between himself and Ferro Lad with elements of Robotman. There were no "hard and set rules" anywhere. In some cases, just the origins were mixed up, not the characters.

Personally, my favorite Amalgam character is Beastling (I'm not biased... nope, not it :p - but I do have Beastling's origins up at www.garfieldlogan.com - ignore the hijaking of the webring if it pops up). Worst name for an Amalgam is probably still "Shatterstarfire".

*sits in a corner and twiddles her thumbs patiently waiting for the X-Patrol scans*

[oneirosdreams]

Ferro Man is the Colossus/Ferro Lad/Robotman combination. :)

[oneirosdreams]

Also since I forgot to add it to my first reply, if Shatterstarfire is the worst Amalgam name, "Doctor Doomsday" is the best. ;)

[kamino_neko]

'Does the idea of mixing and matching these 2 (or 3, or 4) characters seem entertaining? Then go for it.'

There are multiple cases of characters getting more than two characters as a base - Mr X, Dr Strangefate (Xavier, Dr Strange, Dr Fate), the Magnetic Men (the Metal Men, the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, and random other characters providing human identities, in their second appearance), etc, as well as quite a few cases of characters being rolled into multiple amalgams - Xavier in Mr X and Strangefate, Wonder Woman mixed with Storm here and (IIRC) Elektra in Bullets and Bracelets (also tied into Thanoseid, somehow, but it's been too long since I read it), Batman with both Wolverine (as Dark Claw) and Nick Fury (Bruce Wayne, Agent of SHIELD), Will Magnus with Magneto and Bolivar Trask in Magnetic Men and JLX...

[feyandstrange]

Since we never see the Martian shapeshift here, maybe he's in the support chair because Earth's gravity is too string for him.

...that's got to be waaaaaaay too much logic for this title, right?