Forever War: GI Joe 108

[knight_moves]

Storm Shadow'll be fine, he's just a little stabbed.





Oh, we're at the "grumpy badass gets a spunky preteen sidekick" phase of the franchise, are we? I mean, yeah, we had Billy, but this chick is even spunkier and more preteen!









Why, that's the only place in NEW YORK CITY where concrete and fire could co-exist!

Meanwhile, some of the Joes are doing Joe stuff in Madeupcountryistan. Long story short:



Cobra Commander is berating the Night Creepers for failing him, as one does, when





You know what else would keep him out of New York City? If he were dead. If you killed him. Why are you even keeping him alive? He's just going to keep coming up with terrorist plots and killing people. Yeah, yeah, sanctity of life, but if you kill just like five people, Cobra will be down to Major Bludd for leadership and at that point they'll probably get bogged down in trying to occupy Afghanistan.

Whatever, don't listen to me. Here's a happy ending.

Comments

[blues32]

Isn't Cobra currently considered legitimate? If Snake Eyes killed Cobra Commander things would go south quick. Cobra's lawyers would have a field day.

[cainofdreaming]

Yeah, those were legitimate ninjas CC sent after US military personnel. And he also totally legitimately took over an American town and brainwashed all the inhabitants.

[blues32]

Yeah, but nobody has been able to prove that the inhabitants are brainwashed.

[cainofdreaming]

That's on the command brass. Not trusting the intelligence provided by their troops.

[blues32]

In fairness, when investigated, everything seemed normal. Cobra programmed the citizens to revert to their old selves on command with no recollection of what Cobra even was.

[cainofdreaming]

And since the Joes that had been there when it happened had told about the brainwashing they should have figured that out pretty fast. It's not even the first time Cobra had a town in USA that looked normal on the surface.

[scorntx]

Yay, a happy ending for Little Girl!
Sure, her father was executed, and her home country's government has collapsed, likely to fall into a series of civil wars and ethnic cleansing...
But she gets to play Nintendo 64!
Yaaay!

I see Snake-Eyes has clearly been attending the same linguistics courses as Bark the Polar Bear.

Oh, hey. Tomax and Xamot. Was wondering where they'd gotten to in all this.
(Hmm... Trucial Abysmia... now where have I heard that bef- ah. Oh, yes.)

[beyondthefringe]

And that little girl will almost never be seen again… welcome to the NPC memory hole, little girl.

Hooray for ninja magic!

And brace yourselves, folks. You think the mission to Trucial Abyssmia looks bad now…

[cainofdreaming]

Also, you think Cobra's embassy looks bad now...

[tcampbell1000]

I like to hear Snake Eyes' ellipses like the "wa-wa voices" they used for adults on Peanuts specials.

[lbd_nytetrayn]

Too early for Nintendo 64. Heck, the Super NES/Famicom had only just hit Japan when this came out, so not even in the US yet.

[shakalooloo]

How did Snake Eyes dodge the bullet that Cobnra Commander fired directly at his chest at point-blank range in that half-splash? It's dead-on centre mass!

[super_fly]

"Columbia University! Hey, we ain't callin' on those guys who battle supernatural slime are we?"

Of course not, they'd been kicked out long before they started doing any of that.

[lbd_nytetrayn]

You know what else would keep him out of New York City? If he were dead.

Would it, though?

[agharta75]

And nothing further will be said about the mighty Kwinn.