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The Keith Giffen Guy Gardner is an unpredictable sort. He can be creepy or compassionate, stupid or cleverer than you expect, full of righteous fury or full of petty fury, sometimes all in one afternoon. This makes reading about him fun and interesting. But it seems like it’d make dating him exhausting.
Even the modern-day, somewhat mellower Guy is not great on dates (How to Lose a Guy Gardner in 10 Days)…
And the Guy of 1990 could hardly be better at it. Guy and Ice’s first date ended in disaster except in his own mind…
And that was it for them for a while, until a moment of shared mourning gave Ice’s interest in him a shot in the arm.
But one good moment only gets you so far. For their latest date, Guy has taken Ice to…a “sporting” activity I will not name here. Suffice to say it’d be a relationship-ender for me, and it is illegal in all 50 states in 2026. Art by Russell Braun.
However, that’s the only really bad thing Guy will do in this issue, and it’s over before the issue starts. Brace yourself for a story that dares to ask, “What if GUY were the down-to-earth, relatable one and BLUE BEETLE were the borderline psychopath?”
While Guy tries to repress every impulse he has, Beetle is backstage, arranging a “birthday surprise" for Guy with something Kilowog has just created to order. (Whatever the League’s paying Kilowog, it’s not enough.) Fire’s there too, mostly to give disapproving looks.
The emcee announces a change in the schedule to honor a special guest in the audience. Guy rolls his eyes until they give the event’s title: “Guy Gardner on Ice.”
A single, earth-shattering scream echoes through the stadium. And then…silence. Guy doesn’t say another word for the rest of the evening, not even after Ice gets him back to the embassy. Beetle and Kilowog have covered their tracks: neither Guy nor Ice know they were involved in this, and Ice takes it at face value as the performers’ tribute.
Matters escalate from here in quick and predictable fashion.*
*(I do think the story fumbles its dismount a little with Ice: once she learns Beetle and Kilowog were responsible for this, she shouldn’t be upset Guy is screaming about it. She should be venting her OWN anger on those two! But anyway.)
Also, Oberon takes a leave of absence in this issue, a few issues after returning from space, just because Max is not having a stressful enough year.
Still, you may ask, “How sympathetic should I be to Max when he never re-explained to Huntress how he, uh, motivated her to join the Justice League?” Well, good news: Justice League International Special #2 has you covered.
This story is even more JLINO (Justice League In Name Only) than the Mister Miracle-centered special. It’s mostly there to wrap up the first Huntress series, picking up where its last issue, #19, left off…
Helena has retired from the hero’s life. (A lot of JLI members in this era seem to contemplate not just leaving the League but retiring altogether: Mister Miracle, Oberon, Huntress, J’Onn, Max…) But when circumstances pull her into One Last Job™, she shows up at JLA HQ to ask for their help with logistics.
The way she reacts to Max’s name here seems to indicate that she now knows everything about their shared history.
Turns out this "Hunter" guy is a crimefighting ally trying to carry on in her name, and there's a mob boss who needs punching...the JLI offer an assist, and the story politely pretends that J'Onn J'Onzz couldn't resolve the whole thing in about four seconds. We end with an even more disillusioned Helena destroying her Huntress identity altogether, forever and ever and PFFFT HAHAHAHA sorry
No, this would not stick at all: she would get a new miniseries about three years later. This would, however, end her association with the JLI. So long, Helena! Your membership never made much sense, but at least you never failed to remind us you knew that!
When Helena joined the JLA in its next major era, no one said boo about how much of a street-level loner she was; she just showed up and pitched in (JLA #16).
Maybe she’d worked through some stuff in the interim. Or maybe it’s just easier to stop being a loner if it means you get to work with your secret crush.
I won’t tell him if you won’t.
Monday: The US kidnaps a foreign leader to install a more compliant regime, shocking the international community. In 1990.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-21 06:32 am (UTC)More and more, when Helena appears in these retrospectives, I keep imagining her monologuing, "Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in again."
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Date: 2026-02-21 02:32 pm (UTC)Ted's antics there are crossing a line from silly into just utterly stupid.
... probably banged on about this before, so sorry for any repetition.
It's just that Ted does come across as far more unlikable than Guy - rude, disgusting, sometimes just horrific Guy - and that can't be right.
I suppose it's because with Guy, he's an ass. We know it. It's his Thing. You don't really expect any better of him beyond "fleeting glimpse of basic humanity on the second try".
Whereas with Ted... I dunno, man.
We got Booster, generally written as or treated as an immature glory-hound / doofus, getting so fed up of being treated like a punchline that he walked, while Ted seems to double-down on the immaturity.
And Guy, for his small book's worth of faults, at least occasionally seems to contribute some use to the team, even if it's in his own "special" way.
Whereas Ted rarely does, and his behaviour is actively endangering his health, so it gets actually alarming.
(I can get why Guy-as-written-here would be impossible to get rid of one way or another. He's too loud and stubborn to fire, and with his ring and their powers the only one who could make him leave is J'onn. But what would Ted do if everyone else had just banded round to say he should really just go? Pout? Sulk? Hide in his room 'till dinnertime?)
If there were a point or an arc to it, like Ted coming to a realisation of some kind, like that his behaviour is stupid at best, dangerous at worst, or how some people just aren't cut out for certain things.
But it seems Ted being like this *is* the point, and the whole of the point.
(maybe that's what it is? Immaturity with what little glimpses beyond that being far and few between?)
... oh, hey, free soapbox.
(Superman! What would Br- err, Lois say?!)
no subject
Date: 2026-02-21 03:12 pm (UTC)The most consistent thing about Beetle and Booster in Giffenland is how much they waffle between "I'm not a clown, take me seriously" and "I *am* a clown and I am super fine with that." Beetle as seen here is very committed to that bit. The very next story in this retrospective will display his serious side. Booster will continue to fight for some kind of respectability for the remainder of the series' original run. In the "reunion special" comics Giffen and DeMatteis produced in the 2000s, they'll have switched places; with Booster regressing and Beetle leaning toward maturity.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-21 02:40 pm (UTC)DC Wiki was useless, though...
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Date: 2026-02-21 03:04 pm (UTC)Frankly, I've avoided naming the "sport" for a reason. It's a better story if you can sympathize with Guy from the start. Guy's struggle is the point! However, today's audience would have its sympathies challenged if the first thing they read was the name of it. That said, it was not altogether unrealistic for someone like Guy to be into, in 1990--much as I hate to admit this, it was in some ways a different time.
If you really want to know, there's a way to find out. Note the first letter of each sentence in this reply and use them to spell out the answer. Guy's had few worse ideas than this, and that's saying a lot.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-21 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-02-21 04:50 pm (UTC)Ice: "You promised not to be upset! Crossed your heart and hoped to die!"
Guy: "Then I'll die but I'll take those two with me!"