Richie Rich Profits #13

[skjam]

As it turns out, I was able to find one (1) Harvey Comic in mostly intact condition in my collection. It's Richie Rich Profits #13, from 1976.

For you young'uns, Harvey Comics were once huge, putting out an average of thirty titles a month, four in the Sad Sack family alone. Richie Rich was the story of a boy from an emormously wealthy family, up in the Scrooge McDuck category. Despite being wealthy enough to buy a small country with pocket change, the Riches were refreshingly kind and egalitarian types. Especially Richie, who loved to hang out with his proletarian friends. (They were usually okay with taking advantage of Richie's generosity in sharing his nice things, but too proud to accept money or permanent gifts.)

And being both fantastically wealthy and nice, the Riches had some of the coolest servants around as well, as we will see in this issue.






The Riches' butler was Cadbury, "the perfect butler." He wasn't quite on the combat level of some other butlers, but in his context, he's still awesome enough to hang out with Alfred, Jarvis, Jeeves and other butlers of legend. This story focuses on his relationship with Richie. (five scans from a fifteen-page story.)





Richie, as it happens, is a boy of habit. Mr. Cone, the owner of the ice cream shop, is surprised to hear Richie order his usual, a chocolate-vanilla-strawberry-cherry-pistachio-tutti-frutti cone. Because he already ordered such a tower an hour ago. Cadbury orders a five-scoop cone, all vanilla. Mr. Reade, the owner of the local newsstand, is happy to sell Richie his usual order of Timely, Weeknews, Billionaire's Fortunes and Casper the Friendly Ghost. A bit puzzled as to why the boy would want second copies of each, though.

A man in dark glasses and a mustache drives by in a cab, and later is seen lurking behind a telephone pole.

Cadbury points out that Richie should remember that the world is always watching (and this is back in the days before paparazzi became such a household word.) Richie frets that everyone knows all his secrets, but Cadbury assures him that while public behavior may be known to all, there are things only a friend would know, and one or two that no one else knows.



I don't know about Cadbury's secret, but this isn't the only time Richie's inability to say "ventriloquist" comes up. And it's a sign of Richie's superior education that he doesn't have to reminded which American song "God Save the Queen" has the same tune as.

Cadbury promises to keep Richie's secret, they shake on it and Richie declares them "buddies." They then head on to their main errand, purchasing stamps. Mr. Post is surprised that Richie needs another ten thousand stamps so soon...as in an hour. Cadbury laughs it off in front of the civil servant, but outside suggests that they get back home quickly. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, but three times is enemy action. And the mysterious cabbie decides it's time to make his move.

This involves whistling, the signal for a marching band to go into action. This is, of course, an evil marching band. Richie and Cadbury are knocked silly by the base drummer and a majorette, respectively. The cabbie then instructs two people who look exactly like Richie and Cadbury to "make the switch." Fake Cadbury hails the evil cabbie's taxi for Real Richie, while Fake Richie bundles the dazed Real Cadbury into another cab, each scene concealed from the other by the capering musicians.

Each of the real duo realizes something is suspicious about their companion, and use their newfound knowledge to expose the imposter. The Richies leave their respective cabs with the Cadburys in hot pursuit, eventually slamming into each other in a mirror image panel. the Cadburys smack into each other as well, leaving a heap of concussed duplicates. Mr. Skeem, the malignant cabbie, has the marching band haul everyone back to the airfield (no one notices anything odd about the musicians carrying along unconscious people.) At the airfield, Mr. Skeem has the band dump the duplicates in a hanger, then wait aboard a jumbo jet. He then wakes the sleepers.

Mr. Skeem is kind of miffed his plan has gone awry. He'd combed the earth to find exact doubles of the entire Rich family and Cadbury. The idea was to get Richie and Cadbury to an isolated tropical island where the fake parents would create the illusion that this was a vacation.



The doubles fight, and Mr. Skeem tries to figure out who's who--if he makes a mistake, the real ones could go free and tell the cops. Speaking of which, they arrive. But both the real and fake Richies and Cadburies act in perfect unison--how are we going to sort this out?




Irona comes from the era when robot maids were made in Detroit, not Akihabara, but I suspect she was responsible for a few boys discovering a fetish in her time.



And now, a text feature for you older fans.




See how many you can answer without asking me to reveal the truth!


And now, Cadbury in a solo adventure. (One page)





How about a one-page adventure of Casper the Friendly Ghost?






However, not all of the Rich relatives were salt of the earth types. Some, in fact, lived down to the worst stereotypes of the wealthy. Such as this fellow. (1 and 1/2 pages of five.)





Reggie may be a cad, but he's not going to bail on babysitting. That would be wrong.

Reggie proceeds to tell a series of tall tales, talking himself into a corner each time. Fortunately for him, his sister's infantile antics give him ideas on how to satisfactorily end each tale.

The younger children take their leave.





Hope you've enjoyed this look into the lives of the rich and famous. Your thoughts and comments?

More British comics will be coming up in the next few weeks.

Comments

[jlroberson]

You have to admire a comic that's straightforward about its purpose right there on the cover.

A lot of people don't realize is that the ghosts that live with Casper are the people who killed him. That's their punishment.

I remember when I was a kid and saw that "Adam Awards" thing, I recall thinking, I know who RR is, and I was...aware there was a Jackie Jokers. And Nap Sack? They're dragging his children into the Army too? Vietnam was hard on everyone. But "Comix Kidd?" "Billy Bellhop?" And for that matter, crewcut "Adam Awards" himself? All of whom they took the trouble to register as trademarks? (those musta been cheap back then) I wondered: who the fuck were they?

[galateus]

At least the Awardoes get name tags; who are those three girls in the other image with Richie? His unwanted harem?

[kamino_neko]

On the Richie Rich Trivia Quiz page?

The one directly behind Richie is Little Dot, the one with the red hair is Gloria Glad, his girlfriend, and the other black haired girl is Mayda Money, who wants to be his girlfriend.

[foxhack]

I actually have a Nap Sack comic somewhere.

Why I have no idea.

[jlroberson]

Was he actually a kid in the Army?

[foxhack]

No, he was just... a soldier. A regular joe.

[jlroberson]

What then was his relation to Sad Sack? Because I thought that was him that was supposed to be the regular-Joe dude. "Nap Sack" looks more like a mini version of some kind...

[foxhack]

Christ, maybe I'm getting mixed up here. I remember a "sack" comic. I don't remember the name. D:

[jlroberson]

See, that's why I'm wondering about this "Nap Sack." I believe he was from the tail end of Vietnam when we were down to drafting random children.

Wha'?

[jazzypom]

A lot of people don't realize is that the ghosts that live with Casper are the people who killed him. That's their punishment.

Damn, I read those comics for years and I never knew that fact at all. Considering that Casper treated them like grumpy uncles and such.

Boggled, my mind is boggled.

Re: Wha'?

[jlroberson]

Actually, that's just my theory, but I stick by it.

I also think Goofy used to be Mickey's neighbor and could talk, until those damn chipmunks helped Mickey trick him into his basement. One lobotomy later, Mickey had a pet. And why did nobody object to seeing Pluto on a leash, on all fours, naked without gloves?

Because as Harlan Ellison once said: nobody fucks with the Mouse.

[tacobob]

I wonder where Richie got his money from? Wait a second! Richie's dad is Babyface from Batman: The Brave And The Bold:

[jlroberson]

He made his money from his company's psychiatric drugs designed to stimulate obsessive compulsions, so as to make people more controllable workers and consumers.

And the whole town around was the testing ground. Poor Little Dot was the worst-hit.

[tacobob]

SNEER!

Poo-Poo!

[jlroberson]

I will ignore that poo-poo. Though I have it on good authority from a general that you should never ignore a poo-poo.

[tacobob]

Snort!

[hatman]

I love that he actually says "SNEER." And that he's such a cad he has "VD" on his gate. Also, not bailing on babysitting is nice.

Fun comics. :)

[michael_ezra]

I love that he actually says "SNEER."

Believe it or not, that was actually a recurring bit of crack in Richie's titles. There was a Reggie story where he goes around using a "sneer machine" on everything in sight, making flowers and rocks audibly sneer at unsuspecting people.

I honestly have no idea where the writers got the idea that a sneer is a sound as opposed to a facial expression.

Why is the rival/nemesis in kid's comics always called Reggie?

[jlroberson]

Somebody named Reggie must have really pissed off a bunch of comics writers.

[furioussterling]

All i can think about when reading Richie Rich is how enormous his head is. I bet he only wears the big bow tie to try and draw attention away from his big ol' pumpkin head.

[tacobob]

And yet, his dad has a large body and a tiny head. What's with that!

[jlroberson]

Richie hasn't eaten his first competitor whole yet. But Reggie really should start basting himself now.

[tacobob]

Yeah, he's either a very old little boy, or he's just an evil midget!

And Casper, when are we gonna see him as a Black Lantern?

[zegim]

I remember reading Richie Rich and Casper as a kid.

Cadbury is indeed awesome all the time.

[michael_ezra]

Cadbury was always my favourite Harvey character. I particularly got a kick out of his reminisces about former employers, such as Sir Ruddy Blighter, "adventurist and time-waster extraordinaire." Like the time when a giant octopus pulls Sir Ruddy overboard while he calmly says, "Cadbury, old thing! Could you offer a bit of assistance?"

[jlroberson]

Cadbury vs. Jarvis vs. Alfred.

BUTLER FIGHT! Which will emerge alive?

[jaybee3]

The Richie Rich comics were fund as a kid. Nice to imagine what you could do if you had an unlimited amount of money (and let's face it - he did). But even when I was young it always bugged that all the kids in the comic had huge heads compared to the adults and that Richie was always dressed in the same Lord Fauntleroy suit every day of the week.

[skjam]

As we see in this issue, it's multiple Lord Faunleroy suits that happen to look identical.

[kamino_neko]

The Richie Rich comics were fund as a kid.

Nice.

Can't Believe No One's Posted This

[aaron_bourque]

Re: Can't Believe No One's Posted This

[khamelea]

That is just EVIL.

Re: Can't Believe No One's Posted This

[sistermagpie]

Taht's a treasure!

Re: Can't Believe No One's Posted This

[jlroberson]

I'm sure it's a film that he'll remember the rest of his life.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Richie Rich is the sort of character that, if you think about too much, your brain will explode. 'Scrooge McDuck level' is, if anything, understating it - there's a Bizarro cartoon where Donald Trump and God are in a tense face-off, wallets out, with a solemn TV reporter expositioning into his microphone that they are here to find out once and for all - 'does Donald Trump have more money than God?' If Richie Rich had been in Trump's place, there would have been no question about it - he DOES have more money than God. The sheer amount of cash he throws around on a daily basis is beyond jaw-dropping - the richest people alive don't have that much money. Hell, the richest COUNTRIES alive don't have that much money. He has been shown paying for things like rockets with graphite-filled nosecones to CREATE GIANT DOTS ON THE FACE OF THE FULL MOON THAT SPELL OUT THE LETTER 'G', IN ORDER TO GIVE HIS GIRLFRIEND A THRILL! This conclusively proves that, at any rate, he has more money than all of the space programs of Planet Earth combined - he could buy and sell NASA a million times. And that all comes out of his ALLOWANCE - his parents and relatives are EVEN RICHER! It's just... you think about this for too long, and your eyeballs start spinning. This kid and his family have more money in their possession than it is even possible to exist. They could buy the Planet Mars with that much money. They could use thousand-dollar bills for toilet paper and never suffer a net loss. It's enough to give you a headache. Must stop thinking about how loaded Richie Rich is... Must.... OW! Too late! My cranium! DAMN YOU, RICHIE!

[jlroberson]

But he did provide a great role model for rappers from the 90s onward.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Meaning that they act like they've got more money than God?

[jlroberson]

And display it and toss it about just as he does.

Maybe it's time Richie got a makeover.

[psychopathicus_rex]

I don't see how Richie COULD get a makeover - the 'poor little rich kid' thing has been done to death anyway; there's precious little else that can be gotten out of it. The thing that (theoretically) made Richie appealing as a character was that his wealth hadn't affected his personal character in the slightest - he was a nice kid who just happened to be impossibly wealthy. With the 'Casper' revamp, there's supernatural-type stuff to draw on - the only way you could revamp Richie would be to A: make him edgier, at which point he would be rich AND a jerk, which, while more realistic, makes him less appealing, or B; reveal that the source of his parents' money is something immoral, like slash-and-burning the Amazon - which draws the real world into the fantasy world he inhabits, and once THAT'S there, there's no getting it out. I'm not very fond of Richie Rich, but he works pretty well for what he is - changing him wouldn't accomplish much of value.

[jlroberson]

Imagine him in the hands of Alan Moore.

Oh, that would be fun.

[psychopathicus_rex]

It would certainly be interesting.

[khamelea]

My preconceived idea of what Richie Rich comics were like was really unfair.

[salamangkiero]

If I remember correctly, Cadbury functioned as a bodyguard, along with Irona (Who, I think, is like some sort of primitive Metal Man android). Between those two, they pretty much had Richie Rich's protection covered.

[zegim]

Yes, indeed.

Cadbury use old school gentlemen boxing to fend off people who tried to harm Richie.

[skjam]

For purposes of the story above, let us presume that Cadbury's double has been equally trained in an identical form of combat, thus their stalemate.

[sistermagpie]

You see kids, in the days before DNA-testing, we needed android robot maids to identify people.

Is Jackie Joker a Beatle?

[skjam]

I believe he's modeled on some stand-up comedian who was popular in the early 1970s, whose fame has not lasted.