"The Thousand"

[cyberghostface]

This was the first 'Tangled Web' story and it was done by superhero fan Garth Ennis. While it's more SFW than your average Ennis book, there is quite a bit of gruesome body horror that wouldn't be out of place in a Cronenberg film, so take that as a warning.

Disclaimer: Three issues, seven pages from each.

The story opens with a surly guy at a diner watching Spider-Man battle the Rhino outside his window.






We go to Peter at the Bugle where Jonah's turning down his photo of Spider-Man and the Rhino.






She attempts to mace him when she sees Carl but it doesn't do anything.







#2...

Beginning of the issue has "Miss Patton" telling Peter that she needs a place to stay for the night. Peter offers her his.








She throws Peter out the window. He manages to get dressed up as Spider-Man and takes on "Miss Patton" who identifies herself as "The Thousand". The Thousand ends up biting Spidey on the neck, paralyzing and knocking him out. He wakes up tied to a chair.






Heh, so Jessica Jones was there when Pete got bit by the spider and so was this guy. Wonder if there have been any other retconned characters present?









#3...

The issue opens with Mr. Ambrose, the super, coming in and seeing Spider-Man surrounded by the spiders. Spidey tells him to run but it's too late as the spiders jump down his throat and devour him from the inside.



Carl tells him that his body began to break down as his insides were being consumed by a thousand spiders with his consciousness. He eventually moves onto his own parents, first his mother and then his father. Each time he moves from a body he gets stronger.

Spider-Man tells him that all his time he's been monologuing, the poison has worn off.






The battle goes outside. Carl tells Peter he doesn't know how easy he's had it. "The death-defying exploits. The lethal array of colorful villains. The string of beautiful girlfriends -- all because some nerd gets bitten by a spider? You know what happened to my beautiful girlfriend? I had to eat her."









Carl, in his rage, doesn't realize he's about to hit a high-voltage box. Spider-Man tries to warn him but Carl ends up electrocuting himself.

Comments

[chrisdv]

O.O

Well, that's my nightmares for the next week or so sorted.

The art really doesn't fit the story...

[shadowpsykie]

motto....

so

much

MOTTO

[icon_uk]

I remember this story, decently horrific (Though wasn't that keen on ANOTHER bully in Peter's past, they must have been queuing up)

[cypherfdp]

Peter Parker wasn't really a "popular" kid.

[ablackraptor]

Never got a chance to read this story, but from the bits I've heard of, Thousand was an interesting, if nightmare inducing, idea for a villain.

[omgwtflolbbqbye]

Ennis makes good use of his squirm inducing imagination without it feeling gratuitous, and Peter's noble regular-joe heroism shined through with no hint of cynicism or skepticism whatsoever (really love the cute waltzing with Aunt May).

I reckon this story plus his (very relatively) merciful treatment of Spidey in his Punisher books could make a good case that Ennis probably likes Spidey more than than most capes- not as much as Superman of course.

[thatnickguy]

Merciful was having an unconscious Spidey used as a shield and punching bag while Frank tries to get the web-shooters to work?

[cyberghostface]

Yep. He could have gotten molested by Bueno Excellente instead.

[silverhammerman]

That kind of crap makes it really hard to take Garth Ennis seriously sometimes. Like, we KNOW that he can do better, but then he puts in this kind of juvenile garbage and it's like, really, dude?

[captainbellman]

Still one of my favourite Spider-Man stories ever, even if it only works by being out-of-continuity.

(It seems like a lot of the characters used herein are expys of better-known Spidey ensemble cast - Carl for Flash, Jess Patton for Betty Brant, and in #2 Peter attends a party with "Skye", who seems to work in a lot of the same fashion circles as MJ.)

[blunderbuss]

*ahem*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

[md84]

As harsh as Ennis is towards the "good guys", he's even harsher towards his villains.

Ending up as nothing but a stain on a guy's shoe. A miserable death for a miserable man.

[janegray]

You know, however nightmare inducing this story was, I keep thinking... what about the cat?

No, really. This is an actual fear of mine. If something happens to you while you are away, will your pets starve to death?

[glprime]

If the cat is totally trapped in the home with no way out, probably. Otherwise I'd say the cat's got a good chance in a big city whether or not it gets found and adopted by someone else (call me an optimistic cynic, but I write a harrowing but ultimately happy ending for kitty).

[benuben]

Well, since Peter knows he killed not!Betty, he's certainly gonna call the cops and they will propably find the cat in time.

Fun fact: This is as close as I get to make someone happier.

[janegray]

It sounds like you've had a hard time. I'm sending you an internet pat on the back, I hope whatever it is that hurt your feelings gets better soon.

[philippos42]

Oh, good, it's non-continuity.

I don't remember reading this last year, but I may have just decided that Ennis and Spider-Man were not an appealing combination and scrolled past the link.

I am not a big fan of horroring Spider-Man up. Some people seem to think that's the way to go?

[lordcrayak]

I don't see why so many regard this as non-canon. The time frame is a bit vague, but other than that, there's nothing suggesting it isn't in continuity, especially since (to my knowledge, at least) the rest of the Tangled Web stories are canon.

And sure, Peter never brought Carl up before this, but it's not like that's unusual in comics, or most other mediums.