Big Barda vs. Knockout -- No, the other one

[seriousfic.insanejournal.com]

Way back when, Circe turned all the men into animals, leaving only women to save/destroy the world. As you'd expect, the execution was pretty half-assed, with just a few panels dedicated to each fight between characters before they got back to a "Who's Who" entry and waited for Grant Morrison to decide what zeitgeist they fit. But hey, that doesn't mean a few panels can't be awesome...

Yes, Gail Simone has nothing to worry about, but I do love Scott the Parrot. Both because he's a bird -- even when altered by a magic spell, he still retains that spark of freedom, he's still flying around and probably shitting on Circe's car -- and because Big Barda + Scott the Parrot = PIRATE BARDA.

She'll make you walk the plank. And by plank, she means Mega-Rod. And by walk, she means "get beat about the face and chest."

Comments

[seriousfic.insanejournal.com]

And now, as inventor of the concept of Barda the Pirate (BlackBarda?), I feel the need to invent for her a backstory.

Lady Barda: Oh Scott, beloved husband, I have washed my hair and accidentally, yet strategically, ripped my nightgown during fencing duels with the ladies. Are you prepared for marital bliss?

Lord Scott: A witch doctor turned me into a parrot.

Lady Barda: NOT. ON.

Since she didn't trust the British Navy to rescue her beloved from parrotness (they're no Spanish Armada, after all), Barda turned pirate to find a cure for Scott and because it's fun. Truly, no woman before in the annals of history has gone through so much to get laid FOR LOVE.

[gargoylekitty.insanejournal.com]

Fund it!

[psychop_rex.insanejournal.com]

If she's a pirate, who's her crew? And what's the name of the ship? The 'Apokolips 2'?

[seriousfic.insanejournal.com]

The Female Furies are her crew, with Booster Gold and Blue Beetle providing cartographical services. Her ship's named "The Miracle."

[psychop_rex.insanejournal.com]

But the Female Furies hate her...

[seriousfic.insanejournal.com]

She started new teams of Female Furies a few times. If she can do it with lady wrestlers, why not with pirates?

[psychop_rex.insanejournal.com]

Well, fine, if that's just the name of her crew.

[lurkslikefox.insanejournal.com]

The British Navy don't need to be no stinkin' Spanish Armada. We have GOD (and the weather) on our side!