Trooper

[cyberghostface]

Here’s my story for Star Wars Day.

This comes from 'Star Wars Tales' #10.

Comments

[tripodeca113]

A moments silence for all the innocent Stormtroopers who died on both Death Stars... Those Rebel terrorists, destroying the innocent weapons of mass destruction, used to prop up a fascist regime after it dissolved the official governmental bodies.

[zachbeacon]

I can't help but think about that bit in Clerks.

The average Stormtrooper doesn't know anything about construction.

The Rebels blew up a bunch of contractors.

[super_fly]

I can't help but think about the end of that scene where the contractor listening to their conversation relates his own story about turning down a roofing job for a mobster and the guy who took it instead getting gunned down before he could start work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4MVQby0InQ

Those contractors knew the risk.

[zachbeacon]

Yeah but the Mafia are criminals. The Empire are the government.

Whose Academy do you think Luke was planning to attend before he got radicalized by a space wizard?

[tinygaylaura]

"But the mafia are criminals. The Empire are the government "

Your so right, the Mafia are definitely better people than the Empire are

[icon_uk]

And wouldn't you have LOVED to have been there in that timeline, when the Imperial Recruitment Centre Administrator suddenly feels the temperature drop in her office as Darth sodding Vader himself strides in.

Thinks I didn't even know he knew where this place WAS!

"My lord, I am honoured by your presence."

"Of course you are. You have a new candidate from Tattooine I believe?"

"Y-y-yes, my lord, I wouldn't have paid it much attention to that backwater, but his simulator scores appear... surprising."

Thinks: Jerran, be smart and do NOT ask how he knew when you've not even finished processing his entry into the system. You've seen how long it takes to clean the mess off the walls after those sort of questions. But I mean, there were forty THOUSAND applicants yesterday, and only one of them from Tattooine

"What name did they use?"

"Name, my lord?"

"Yes, their NAME, Administrator."

Panicked rilfing through of flimsies whilst realising thi... "Ah here it is my lord. The name given was..err...Skywalker, Luke Skywalker."

"Parentage?"

Thinks This isn't awkward at all, but keep a clear head Jerran

"No parents named my lord, but that is not uncommon on such planets. According to this, raised by Owen and Beru Lars, an uncle and aunt."

Thinks Is it me, or did it just get even colder in here?

Darth Vader stands even MORE still (if that were possible), he clenches a fist and the entire power supply for the admin complex fuses. He turns and strides out of the office without a word, the doors sliding apart with a wrenching sound at his slightest gesture.

Admistrator Jerran fiinally breathes again, and decides she needs A) a drink, B) a transfer and C) another, larger, drink.

[tinygaylaura]

Yep

Lay down with dogs, wake up with fleas

[ozaline]

Canonically they also used slaves, and "honored guests" given the operational secrecy this thing maintained, very few people had a choice, I think.

But that doesn't mean the Rebels were wrong.

[deh_tommy]

I keep thinking about this old CollegeHumor sketch.

[cyberghostface]

George Lucas responded to that saying Geonosians were the ones who built the Death Star and since they're just giant termites it's okay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFKhV_X6-cg&t=1s

[zachbeacon]

"They're creepy insects, their lives don't matter" sounds like Empire logic not the kind of thinking I want from the Rebels.

[tinygaylaura]

So much for the tolerant left! XD

[silverhammerman]

The kill or be killed training stuff seems a little over the top, for all the the stormtroopers are nominally elite soldiers, in practice they seem like a bunch of poorly equipped clowns.

I do still really like this though, it's interrogating one of the things that Star Wars takes for granted, and the ending is even a fun subversion of the Imperial defection that was a part of so many characters' backstory in the old EU. I don't want to spark a whole "thing" but this is honestly what I'd hoped to see a bit more of from Finn in the sequel trilogy, but we never really got.

[cyberghostface]

Yeah they really dropped the ball with Finn. As soon as he defects he's killing his former peers and whooping like it's nothing. I never watched the Clone Wars cartoon but apparently there's something similar except its depicted as being devastating for the soldier having to kill his former brothers in arms. I don't even know why they bothered to make him a Stormtrooper in the first place given how minimal it was aside from a few bits like people calling him a traitor.

[arilou_skiff]

Which is why it still bugs me they didnt use the alternate version of the scene when he confronts Phasma in TLJ.

[tinygaylaura]

What was the alternate scene?

[zachbeacon]

The movies really should have focused on Finn and not Rey* and Poe**.

*Who they couldn't decide what to do with.

**Who is just the absolute worst.

[tinygaylaura]

I liked Poe fine in Force Awakens it was just when Last Jedi decided to randomly make him act like an idiot that I got annoyed with that

I do agree that the trilogy absolutely should have had more focus on Finn though. Sadly I think we all know why it didn't

*Sighs tiredly*

[tinygaylaura]

"We're recruiting for the Galactic Empire"

"I can tell by the way your wearing an outer space SS uniform and building a planet destroying super weapon for an insane space wizard that you must be the good guys so I'd love to do that!"

"To prove your a bad enough dude to join the Empire kill this unarmed prisoner

Oh and by the way our boss sometimes likes to murder some of us just to make a point or beecause he's in a bad mood or for no reason at all"

"This seems like an organisation I should absolutely sign up with what could go wrong"

[dan_ingram]

Hey, free dental care.

That's worth a lot

[arilou_skiff]

To be fair, the other people on his planet were dressed like Mad Max rejects, so I dont think he had a very good sense about aestethics.

[tinygaylaura]

Fair point

The whole "Murdering unarmed prisoners as part of your job interview" part still seems like a pretty big red flag though

[deh_tommy]

“He said stun! *sobs* He wasn’t gonna hurt ya, he said stun!”

[tinygaylaura]

I'd say he'll be missed but he wasn't

Leia's too good a shot for that

[t209]

Clone Wars and Rebels had the same elements from the book.
In Clone Wars, one of the clone troopers was punished for abandoning his team.
But in Rebels, the human recruit was punished for saving his comrades (the comic had the recruit to ignore his friend falling off the cliff).