Boy, I'll bet the gaters of Florida are sleeping easier tonight, but as for the humans...

[icon_uk]

I wasn't sure of the context of today's Shortpacked when I read it, and I sure as hell wasn't going to google anything involving the word "bestiality" at work, so it took me until tonight to find this

From the article in the link above the cut.

There may be some terrible news to report out of Florida today, depending on how the state's residents have collectively decided to apply the basic science of biological classification to their lives. Last week, we noted some good news: The Florida legislature had finally passed a law that would outlaw bestiality and preserve the innocence of Florida's native fauna.

At the time, I posited that only shiny-pated grifter-Governor Rick Scott could possibly foul up the effort. But over at Southern Fried Science, blogger "Andrew" points out that the law's wording has basically outlawed sex entirely:

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

Hence the Shortpacked, which I'm sure summarises where a lot of our minds went at about this point....

So, any Florida resident S-Der's do let us know how this works out for you! :)

Comments

[darkblade]

You messed up the cut, the comic is below it.

[icon_uk]

Thanks, and fixed!

[proteus_lives]

Snake-Eyes for the win!

[fungo_squiggly]

Speaking as a Floridian, I read scans_daily in order to try and forget the existence of Rick Scott and our current state legislature.

You, good sir, are defiling my happy place. (Which I'm guessing is also what the parrot will tell Shipwreck.)

[icon_uk]

I feel I should apologise, but seriously, managing to fuck up a bill outlawing bestiality? How difficult must that have BEEN?!?

As a more pleasant diversion, consider the gulf that separates our two countries when I note that the Gi Joe comic in the States ran a competition to name Shipwreck's parrot and the winner was "Polly".

In the UK Action Force comic the same competition produced the far superior (IMHO); "Seasick" :)

[whitesycamore]

So... the gulf that separates the US from the UK is that we devise better names for parrots?

Well ok then!

[icon_uk]

Well, a canyon leading off the gulf... a valley leading off the canyon leading off the gulf... maybe a gully off the valley off the canyon off the gulf?

(icon_uk points) Oh look... a squirrel! (icon_uk runs in other direction)

[whitesycamore]

Well, you must come and meet my parrot some time!* Her name is, um... Mother Gherkin. And I'm teaching her to whistle Land of Hope and Glory!

*I do not actually have a parrot. I do have a martini though. It's nice.

[sianmink]

Gov Alien Head Fraudster is awesome! (not really)

He also signed a bill that will make it harder to vote and the one that bans saggy pants in schools, so there's that.

[jarodrussell]

Seems pretty straight forward to me: you can give a dog a hand job or blow job as long as you're an official judge of...something. That doesn't negate animal sex, it just makes it a group activity.

[khamelea]

I really can't say anything against that.

[mullon]

You know there are some people waiting just off the coast for them to rewrite the law so it says non-sentient animals so they can get back to dolphin fucking.

[elf]

The law specifies that's what's forbidden is certain types of contact "for the purpose of sexual gratification or sexual arousal of the person." (Those terms are, of course, not defined.) However, if the person touching the animal's naughty parts (or vice versa, presumably) is doing so for research or husbandry or, presumably, because someone is paying them enough, that's legal.

So "live sex with a donkey" shows are still legal, as long as the person involved doesn't want to enjoy it.

On further thought, the fact that "sexual conduct/contact" is defined as having the purpose of arousal, the additional exception for vets and husbandry is downright creepy.

[cypherfdp]

Why not just have a simple "DON'T FUCK ANY LIVING THING THAT ISN'T A HUMAN".

[icon_uk]

Because lawyers are the ones writing the laws and they want to have sex too?

[darkblade]

I appreciate a good lawyer joke as much as the next guy but to call them not human is vastly underestimating the human race's capacity for evil.

[icon_uk]

Oh I freely confess that humans can be supremely evil, but lawyers do it and BILL YOU... with a straight face too.

[kamino_neko]

They want to be allowed to do the green-skinned space-babes when they show up.

[valtyr]

I once made out with a tree. I'd hate to think I could face prison time for it. :(

[espanolbot]

Nice to see Robin not in the near constant spiral of despair that she's in now.

...*sigh* :(

[blackruzsa]

Gotta cover all the bases, and you know things will go badly if you don't have an English teacher or English-competent human being clarifying the definitions of words.