Cute Romance We-- oh, who am I kidding? Jonothon Starsmore's Greatest Hits

[dorksidefiker]

Cynical Dork is Cynical. Have some of Chamber at his absolute "best".





Lets start things off with the relationship that is no doubt the root of so many of Jono's problems with women: Lady Gayle Edgerton.








Hell hath no fury scorned. Of course, if the boyfriend who crippled me ran off with barely a word afterwards, I'd be kinda pissed too.


Moving on, a look at Jono's most infamous relationship...





Yeah, getting off to a good start there. And of course, who could forget this?







After the fall out, Paige tries to thank Jono for taking the heat and not telling Sean and Emma that she was drunk when she tried to kiss him, and Jono reacts with his usual tact...



I think this really sets the tone for their whole relationship, don't you?

Fast forward a few months, to Thanksgiving with the Guthries!
(had to cut a lot of things that I wanted to post from this issue, but I'm sure y'all will get the gist)



Our Heroes return to the Guthrie homestead to find it empty, and Jono proceeds to insert his foot into his non-existent mouth.






Well played, Mr. Starsmore. Well played.

Fast forward again, and Paige is going home to Kentucky for a while to take care of her mother, who's fallen ill. Jonothon has recently lost his telepathy (along with all the other Telepaths in Marvel thanks to yet another Big Event Thing), and they're saying their goodbyes...



But Dork One! you say, I thought this post was about Jono's complete lack of ability to keep a relationship from exploding horribly!

Worry not, my friends! Paige comes back, and Jono once again proves himself to be a jackass.





And that's pretty much it for Generation X's lovebirds! Paige finally gets a clue and moves on, and Jono... handles it really, really badly.

Moving right along, lets meet our next contestant, Rana. Leaving out their meeting because as much as I love it (the whole issue, in fact), there's a page count to consider. Jono encounters Rana at the record store and damn near gets her hit by a car when he startles her with his telepathy, due to her being deaf and suddenly "hearing" someone talk to her. Despite this inauspicious start, they end up having a pretty nice day together.






Typical Jono. Moving along, lets meet Amber, from the Chamber mini-series.

While trying to discover the real reason why and how a bunch of mutant students at Empire State University, Jono makes friends with fellow mutant Amber, who misunderstands and misinterprets Jono but proves to be really helpful, and they actually start to build something that could be really good... and then..




So there we have it!

I've opted to leave out Jono's "romance" with Sugar Kane, since he really was the one getting the short end of the stick there.

Happy Valentine's Day, folks. I need chocolate.