Love is in the air (and in the food)

[ladymoondancer]

Happy Valentine's Day! Let's celebrate with excerpts from "My Little Pony & Friends" #37, author unknown.

Mind-altering substances ahead. Be prepared!





In the 80s, there were various sets of ponies. The Twinkle-Eye ponies, the Sweetberry ponies, and so on. The Romance ponies are all about spreading love and romance. To the extent that they will cheerfully forge love letters for you.



As our story begins, two of the Romance ponies, Love Letter and Love Token, are trying to convince Quarterback to come to the "Sweetheart Parade". No doubt they're feeling a little desperate as there are only about a dozen male ponies, and several hundred female ponies. And Tug and Tracks have apparently taken themselves off the market by pairing up. Wigwam, as we have seen, is taking a doll. Help us, Quarterback Kenobi! You're our only hope!



But Quarterback does not give a flying feather about sweethearts! He just wants to play football. He's peeved by all this romance malarkey, but he accepts Love Token's offer of a chocolate . . .



. . . aaaaand it was drugged.

So of course Quarterback will fall in love with the next pony he--



WHYYYYYYY?



Yes, Quarterback. Stand there staring at her and counting how many times she jumps up and down. That's not creepy at all.



Nimblefingers. NIMBLEFINGERS.



The Romance ponies return, and they aren't even sorry. Then everyone goes off to the parade. Another cracktastic happy* ending!

* at least until the drug wears off.

Bonus: the Adventure boy ponies!



Yep, Tug is clearly making eyes at Tracks.

Comments

[nefrekeptah]

It's not just me that the boy ponies look exactly like the girl ponies, right? They just stuck random generic guy related things and called it a day.

[sinisterlink]

Yeah, I used to have tons of ponies when I was little and the only real difference between the girl and boy ponies is that the boys were slightly bigger and had the fuzzy Clydesdale hair around their legs. I only had a couple boy ponies, but the fact they looked so similar to the girls always kind of annoyed me. So I cut almost all the hair off of one of them and gave him a mohawk. He looked awesome after that.

[sinisterlink]

Well, at least they didn't roofie him, I guess. Also interesting to note that the ponies don't seem to be bothered by two male ponies going to the parade together or by interspecies dating. How progressive. :p

[squirle]

Nimblefingers is an... interesting name. But so is First Base. Oh, the puns that poor guy will have to have endured...

[espanolbot]

They took the Harry Potter route by drugging his food with mind controlling substances instead.

Was I the only one who thought the implications of that were... more than a little but skeevy? Especially considering what happened with Voldemort's backstory?

[sinisterlink]

Harry Potter had A LOT of magic stuff that was pretty skeevy. I always found it kind of strange how they had the "unforgivable" curses that no wizard was supposed to use, like the cruciatus (which inflicts pain) and the imperius (which lets you control another person's actions), and yet the Weasley twins had their magic shop set up and were selling things like love potions, you know, those things that make people do stuff they wouldn't normally do, and yet no one bats an eye at that.

[violetclm.livejournal.com]

The ponies really haven't learned any lessons about this in the intervening years. The latest update of the Gameloft Android/iOS MLP game introduces a red and white unicorn named Lovestruck, who assigns you a series of quests apparently designed to help her housemate "Crescent Pony" have an awesome date. And then one of those quests is buying some love potions for him.

[sinisterlink]

"But so is First Base."

Oh geez, I didn't even notice his name. lol. My main boy pony that I remember having was named Barnacle and came with a pirate hat. His symbol he had was a treasure chest, which I always found humorous since he had pirate's booty on his booty.

And I still find that fact funny to this day, because I am in fact still a ten year old girl.

[althechi]

First Base

You mean Who?

[sadoeuphemist]

Well, at least the cartoon had the episode where the kids learned that a love potion was actually a love poison, and it was morally wrong to drug their big brother+teacher with it.

[icon_uk]

Which is why, "Hey, check him out, he's hung like a "My Little Pony" is NOT a nice thing to say.

[ladymoondancer]

They look different to me, much bulkier. I wouldn't expect a lot of gender dimophrism in horses because . . . they're horses. Never bothered me as a kid. I used to genderflip a lot of MLPs, actually. Applejack was a boy because he had "Jack" in his name.

[ladymoondancer]

That. is. hilarious. I mean, hilariously wrong, but still hilarious.

[ladymoondancer]

Lemme tell you about Barnacle the pirate pony.



All the ponies love him. ALL the ponies.

Also, Peachy and Love Melody seem to be dating.

[ladymoondancer]

In the US his name was Slugger, which just made him sound violent. :0

[sinisterlink]

Aw yeah, all the lady ponies love the pirate look. lol

[ablackraptor]

For some reason, this just terrifies me. I'm not sure why but I just find the look of them really creepy. Is that normal?

[akodo_rokku]

"Tug" is really not much better.

[nefrekeptah]

I don't know, I think it would be more progressive if they were actually bothered that the dating is only happening because one was slipped a mickey.

[dustbunny105]

Naturally.

[thanekos]

They give the lozenges for free, then a few months later.. the life-cleaner, for a little more.

[silicondream]

HAY GUYSE, NO NEED TO FOLLOW THE STRINGS, IF YOU JUST LOOK AT THE STRING ENDS WITH THE SAME COLORS YOU CAN TOTALLY CHEAT

And Peachy's in the middle of a love triangle, actually. Hussy!

[kamino_neko]

The Big Brothers have feathering around their hooves, the girls don't.

They do have the same girlish faces, though.

[kamino_neko]

Not a love triangle! A poly triad!

[silicondream]

Suuurrrre. I don't see her suitors sending each other valentines, though.

[marghammerman]

Oh man... This belatedly makes my Valentine's Day :P I totally had (and presumably still have, somewhere) "Tex." Someone gave him to me as a birthday present and man, did I hate him. I think I resented that he was so explicitly a boy or something. Because, you know, boys were icky and I didn't want them around, even in semi-androgynous MLP form. I remember I used to sort of ostracize him from the other ponies--it was really mean. Poor Tex...

But of course I may have felt differently if I'd had Barnacle instead ;)