Wolverine #1

[arbre_rieur]

"I think [Wolverine's] the ultimate adult, someone who's gained an impossible amount of experience, and has finally allowed himself to mature because of it. He's the superhero I'd most trust with my child." -- Paul Cornell









The gun suddenly lets loose an electrical field, stunning everyone in the vicinity. The kid grabs the gun, carjacks a police vehicle, and flees into the night.

Comments

[jcbaggee]

Skrull?

[cainofdreaming]

Most trust with your child? I wouldn't trust him with his own child.

[icon_uk]

The problems he had with his kids were mostly external to him.

Have to say, if I wanted someone to protect my (purely notional) child, he'd be high up the list.

[wizardru]

Agreed. Wolverine generally is really good at protecting kids and taking them under his wing, dating back to Kitty Pryde. He's not so great at murderous nearly adult children and/or clones that are thrust upon him...but who among us can say we are? :)

Ummm

[big_daddy_d]

He's the superhero I'd most trust with my child

Yea in regards to that statement, allow me to point to the first page posted and respond with this:



Yeeaa if first impressions mean anything, that would suggest this is someone who tends to end up in a lot of situations that result in them being butt ass and then having to put your hand over your child's eyes so they don't see the nudity. I'm no prude but I don't think the kids should be exposed to that and needs to have been properly taught about sex ed and maturity first at least. I'll give the kid some credit, he didn't seem bothered.

Now regardless of that. I like Wolverine. I do but...there is no way in hell I'm asking him to babysit. I always thought he got along surprisingly well with the younger X-Students and has been a good mentor but...no. He at the very least wouldn't even as much as be in my top 10 of heroes to trust with a child.

Re: Ummm

[filthysize]

...Why would anyone need sex ed just to see nudity? It's not sex, it's just the human body. Cultures with public bathhouses like Russia and Japan (which Logan is very much into, btw) would probably take issue with your idea.

Re: Ummm

[big_daddy_d]

I said sex ed. Not actual sex. Big difference.

Re: Ummm

[lissa_quon]

Erm...nudity aside. He just exposed his naked self to boy. So what damage was done? The kid knows what a penis looks like. I make the hazardous assumption that the kid has one.

Also as filthysize pointed out - its the human body. It's not sex. Two different things. He's nude, not molesting. He's naked by circumstance and trying to calm a kid down - not tea bagging him.

There are other reasons I wouldn't have Wolverine be around kids. The whole naked thing is such a minor one.

Re: Ummm

[big_daddy_d]

As I pointed out to filthy, I said sex ed. As in education, not actual sex. Major difference. I don't know the age of the kid but personally I feel like kids shouldn't just up and have shit right in their face. There has to be a process. Doesn't matter if the kid knows what a penis looks like just because he has one of his own, we're talking about an adult being naked around a child. I'm just saying, obviously Wolvie got into some trouble that resulted in the obliteration of his clothes but as I said if 1st impressions were a reliable thing I'd be of mind to not want my child around that on a constant basis.

[alan_smithee]

So when Wolverine is saying "hey it's a lot to take in" he doesn't notice the giant crazy eyes?

[arbre_rieur]

That or he didn't think much of it.

Hey, the kid's traumatized from just seeing you claw down his dad, right after said dad announced that he was going to murder his own son. If he wants to make giant, crazy eyes, let him. :)

[icon_uk]

At least he's wearing clothes by that point or else that could be read in a REALLY unfortunate light.

[md84]

If the only qualification for a babysitter was keeping a kid safe from bodily harm, Wolvie would be a good babysitter. Rescuing kids and keeping them safe seems to be his way of trying to make the world a better place after a lifetime of being treated like an attack dog (even by the heroes).

He doesn't have a good track record with his own kids, but most of it really isn't his fault. He didn't even know the Mongrels existed since the mothers never saw fit to inform him (the frequent mindwipes he' suffered over the years not helping either) before the Red Right Hand pitted them against him. Same thing with Daken. Wolverine tried to be a dad for him, but Daken wasn't having any of that.

Er...

[quatoria]

I guess if we... just ignore... all those kids he's murdered, and threatened to murder, and tried to murder, yeah, he'd be totally great with kids! I like your thinking!

Re: Er...

[okkult3000]

You know what I like to do when I don't like a character? Ascribe all negative qualities to that character! It's great!

[salinea]

Logan the baby killer? Yeah right.

[theflames]

the Mongrel thing bothers me because it's just bad ethics to spread your seed with so many women and use the excuse "they never told me!". Keep it in your pants then!

[espanolbot]

He IS a guy who had has his brain tampered with multiple times in addition to being really really old. Chances are just just doesn't know rather than not caring.

[md84]

Woah. Logan killed kids when he wasn't brainwashed by somone? When was this?

[theflames]

That Apocolypse kid and Hope -- he wanted to do it, was going to do it, and was only stopped by very adamant outside sources who saw the crazy.

Oh and Billy.

Attempted murder really isn't any better.

I don't condone his actions but...

[adam_sherman]

...you need to remember the context for those attempted murders.

Kid!Apocalypse - He thought the kid was just Apocalypse in a young body rather than a new person who could become good. He figured he was stopping Apocalypse from ever becoming a threat again. Stupid, immoral, but somewhat arguable.

Hope - The Phoenix Force was in a "Simon Says DESTROY EVERYTHING!" mood, Hope looked like she was going to become the conduit for said destructive force. If it was the only means to save billions, he would've done it. Also stupid, also monstrous, but somewhat understandable.

Wiccan - ....yeah, I got nothing. I just like to pretend that the Plot Hole from To Boldly Flee started affecting universes beyond the TGWTG multiverse, and Logan was unfortunately affected.

Granted, I haven't really read any comics in a while, but I come to this site often enough, and try to do enough online research to have an understanding of what may be going on.

SadPanda: But he probably got it wrong, so forget about it.

Re: I don't condone his actions but...

[theflames]

Oh I see where your coming from, and yes he had his reasons, and with a little more evidence on each counts, he might have a lot more ground to stand on, but he kinda just looked at the situation, saw the easiest method with the most idiotic reasoning, and went for it. He's so damn trigger happy.

[theflames]

"He's the superhero I'd most trust with my child."

Unless your child *might* be a world threat, then he'd kill it, y'know cause that's what he's gotta do.

I'm sure there are many other options.

[northstarfan]

Or if the kid reminds him of someone he reeeallllly doesn't like.

[cainofdreaming]

Quick! Hide all the blond haired kids with prominent canines!

[curlyjo1]

I hate it when they put a creative team I love on a book about a character I could care less about. :/

[northstarfan]

Reasons you don't want Wolverine watching your kid:

- they will be attacked by Ninjas
- they will be attacked by the Hand
- they will be attacked by one of Wolverine's very angry ex-girlfriends
- they will be attacked by Cyclops
- your child will learn the fine art of drinking beer and staring wistfully at married redheads
- Wolverine will forget he promised to look after your kid and wander off somewhere for about twelve years, causing massive resentment issues

Why risk it?

And seconding the "Great creative team, no real interest in the character".

[auggie18]

THANK YOU. Was about to post something along the same lines. It's not that Wolverine goes around killing children, it's that he has a bazillion enemies who are totally cool with killing children and if he's looking after your kid, then that kid is in harm's way.

- Wolverine will forget he promised to look after your kid and wander off somewhere for about twelve years, causing massive resentment issues

Ha ha, Amiko Kobayashi reference! Mental high five!

Thirding "Great creative team, no real interest in the character."

[cypherfdp]

...The Wolverine uniform he keeps behind the bar?

[donnblake]

Given how often Wolverine ends up getting his costumes ruined, it makes sense to stash spares around, this one apparently with a friendly bartender.

[junipepper]

It's what I'd do, certainly...

[bruinsfan]

As for my choice of which super-hero I'd want to watch after my entirely hypothetical child, Susan Richards would head the list. Not only would she be better than just about anyone at protecting kids from outside threats, she can keep an eye on them without their knowing it, and if they swallow something dangerous, find out what it is, where it's lodged, and extract it before heading to the emergency room.

Plus, she managed to raise a kid who's reasonably polite and well-behaved despite being able to wish people into the cornfield, so I imagine she's well-versed in heading off any form of acting out.

[violetclm.livejournal.com]

CAUTION: Susan Richards may spontaneously turn into Malice. Consult your physician.

[deepspaceartist]

I'd put Superman at the top of my list. Or Supergirl, if it's one of the older versions that is actually responisible.

His super senses and speed mean that he can still keep an eye on the kid even if he has to step out to put out a fire or stop a robbery, an his support network is big enough that he can quickly get one of his friends there if he has to go save the Earth or something similar.

[icon_uk]

Remember the issue of the BTAS comic where Batman is on patrol and has a baby with him to keep it away from REALLY powerful people who want it dead. Some terrific moments there.

See also Hellboy with a baby in "Hellboy II"

[junipepper]

I have a personal policy of just never leaving my (actual, extant, but at this point nearly grown-up) children with Superhero babysitters at all. They can have the best of intentions, but they are basically on-call at all times. You end up having to find another sitter at the last minute, or worse, mid-date, and it's just not worth the hassle. It's best to find a responsible, non-meta teenager and pay them an hourly wage...

;-)

[robinzegblu]

Where are we in this story? The police announce themselves as "armed police" but their leader is NYPD. Is she a liaison or something?

[junipepper]

Well, the New York police are always armed. The tech guy is wearing an NYPD jacket, so I'd say we're in New York. I don't think they usually announce themselves as "armed police" though; maybe it's a bit of poetic license. In a hostage situation, you'd expect to see SWAT teams, so I think that's who those guys are.

[stolisomancer]

An artifact of a British dude writing an American police team menacing a Canadian superhero.

[bruinsfan]

At least he's not like British fanfic writers having American teens use ridiculous as an adjective to describe everything and put on a kettle of tea before they watch telly.