Batman's Bad Day

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

jlbarnett requested a repost of this story. Took me a while, because SO hard to pick which delicious panels to include.

Writer: David V. Reed; Artists: John Calnan, Dick Giordano
From Batman 303, 1978: "Batman's Great Identity Switch!"
AKA, Bruce Wayne, Billionaire Ass-Kicker for JUSTICE!*

Batman leaves the Gotham Museum...










This story is very focused on Batman's nap schedule. He takes another nap later. (Not appearing in this post.) Also, Good Morning, Batman!













And then more cracky problems ensue until finally, Alfred (who else?) fixes everything.
*Title courtesy of fungo_squiggly

Comments

[besamim.insanejournal.com]

"Rest your frame"? "Bore a hole in your knowledge box"?!

Hey David R. Reed, way to do your research on hippie-speak. Cripes, this almost makes the Archie writers look good.

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

LOL, I know!!

[crinosg.insanejournal.com]

The best part is when Bats is like "Okay, you know what? Screw this noise. TAXI!"

[xandertarbert.insanejournal.com]

Motto.

"Man, become a hippie? Hmm, sounds pretty good. Except for being broke. And the clothes. And being on drugs. And the music. And the smell. You know what? Fuck hippies."

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

Well, the being on drugs part is okay.

[rab62.insanejournal.com]

And how incredibly timely to offer a gratuitous dig at hippies in 1978.

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

I know. Way to keep up, comics!

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

And people think it was a deliberate choice that Nixon was president in WATCHMEN. Now you know the real reason.

[seriousfic.insanejournal.com]

See, guys, Dick Grayson is working out as Batman just fine.

[porringer.insanejournal.com]

Oh Commissioner Gordon, so close!

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

Heh. Nice icon. Oh, Gordon.

[superfan1.insanejournal.com]

I know so very close, yet...

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

Jesus Christ, no wonder Gotham needs a Batman.

[sistermagpie.insanejournal.com]

I had no idea he could be so violent! Ha!

I kind of love stories where people learn a secret identity and then just don't believe it.

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

It's so fourth wall. Daring us through just going ahead and saying it.
Then daring us again by character discounting method.

I just read an interesting thing that said "We shouldn't do that anymore!" But then I'm like oh, comics!

[ozlelila.insanejournal.com]

I've only read three panels, but...

"Comissioner Gordan wants me!"

*Snark*

[thanekos.insanejournal.com]

reminds me of this one superman story that went something like:

" Clark! You saved me! ... and you're flying?! Then you're- "

" Nah, you know all those superpower formulas Jimmy keeps falling assbackwards into? I just bummed one of those off of him so I could save your life. "

" Oh. "

[cricharddavies.insanejournal.com]

Scans or it didn't happen.

[dreadedlurker.insanejournal.com]

+1 +1 +1
Must see these glorious scans

[volksjager.insanejournal.com]

Wow. That issue is a must have. I really like the art/inking. Who is it ?

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

Agreed!

Art's by John Calnan and Dick Giordano.

[kusonaga.insanejournal.com]

This is my Batman.

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/4166/batcab.jpg

For justice!

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

Okay, I love your Batman:)

Is it yoinkable?

[kusonaga.insanejournal.com]

Most definitely.

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

Excellent. Thank you!

[islwyn.insanejournal.com]

I have no idea why (probably because I'm just not a good person), in this (http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll125/mysteryfan/b303/brucewayne.jpg) panel Bruce reminds me of Captain Hammer.

"THE FIST IS MY..."

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

Heh. I hadn't thought of that song, but yes. Perfect! And I had noticed the um, emphasis. That one panel's like a spiral composition based on fist and... hammer.

[perletwo.insanejournal.com]

OK, I gotta ask: what caused this little bit of cattywampus? Just your standard knock on the head in the wrong place? Bat-Mite? April Fools Day? Zatanna, sick of the eleventy-millionth crack about her backwards talking?

[vignettelante.insanejournal.com]

It was pretty ridiculous. As I recall, the explanation was basically that he took his Bruce Wayne car to a crime scene for some reason, and driving in that car caused his Bruce Wayne/Batman wires to get switched, and Alfred then fixed things by re-enacting the scenario that caused that except switching cars with him.

A blow to the head may also have been involved.

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

I think this is an awesome idea.

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

Vignettelante 's right, there was a car switch thing at the end.

Also: Blow to the head.
We are led to believe ("It's payoff time for Batman!") that Batman's about to catch some quarry at the Gotham Museum's Neanderthal exhibit, and the quarry's hiding with the... Neanderthals. Or is possibly TWO Neanderthals from the exhibit come to life. Very unclear. An adze or a rock (again, unclear) hits Batman on the head and he gets those little asterisk-y things around his head and looks confused, and then it's pages and pages of cracky Batman-eating-a-hotdog and Bruce Wayne fighting crime.

A villain called the Dodo Man is involved, and we see him at the end, when Alfred arranges for Bruce Wayne to go back to the scene of the injury or whatever and then Bruce finds a tracking device he put on a... um, Dodo (stuffed) and then 'instinct takes over' and it's all: "Quick change of clothes!" (at the museum, so he was carrying the Batsuit, apparently) and everything's back to normal.

I would have much preferred another blow to the head to fix things, because if there's anything Gilligan's Island taught me, it's that odd number of coconuts to the head = lose memory. Even number = Get memory back.

[perletwo.insanejournal.com]

I love that there's a villain called the Dodo Man mixed in there. Why don't we have villains like the Dodo Man and Polka Dot Man and the Condiment King anymore? Now it's all GRIMDARK GRINDHOUSE PSYCHOKILLER RAWR like the circus freaks in Batman & Robin's current arc.

The number of life lessons you can take away from Gilligan's Island is scary. Somebody should write one of those Tao of Pooh-type books about it.

[readeriif.insanejournal.com]

... actually, I believe Polka Dot Man and Condiment King showed up recently in the Human Flame mini.

[perletwo.insanejournal.com]

Yeah, but is anyone at DC making new ones like that, or is it all "let's cut off your face and sew on a doll mask!" with the new villains everywhere?

[readeriif.insanejournal.com]

Well, they were accompanied by a bunch of similar villains, who I think were new (personal favourite, the swiss army knife woman) but as for elsewhere...

[psychop_rex.insanejournal.com]

The Dodo Man was kind of wasted, really - he only showed up for this one issue, and his motivation was just that he really liked dodos for some reason. Which was a shame, because he had a cool name and a classically bizarre look - he was a muscular, balding old guy in a brown bodysuit, with a long fringe of bright pink hair, a withered, skeletal face, and wielding twin tomahawks. If I ever get to write Batman, one of the first things I'll do is bring back the Dodo Man.
Also, regarding the Condiment King, I continue to maintain that he should be imagined as the manic host of a TV cooking show who sends signals to his men through tips he drops on live TV. It'd be awesome.

[perletwo.insanejournal.com]

...Now I am totally thinking about what Keith Giffen could do with Dodo Man over in Ambush Bug.

CONDIMENT KING FIC! WRITE IT! THE UNIVERSE well, ok, just me DEMANDS IT!!!11!1!

[psychop_rex.insanejournal.com]

I dunno, I'd actually pictured him as a serious villain. I mean, I'm sure Ambush Bug could rip to pieces any guy who called himself the Dodo Man in a highly hilarious fashion, but a lot more could be gotten out of the character if he was reintroduced as a serious (or at least competent) character in his own right. (Hey, it worked for the Zebra Man...)
And sorry, but I'm not very good at fanfic. I tried doing it once, but I never really got the hang of it. Still, the concept's open to anyone who wants to use it.

[dreadedlurker.insanejournal.com]

I love love love Bruce's pimpin yellow three piece suit and his super-wide power tie.

I also love that Gordon actually says to himself "Batman is disguised as Bruce Wayne for some reason." ... Um?

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

I also love both of these things. Thank you for appreciating them with me.:)

Also, that suit is something else. I don't think I've ever seen so much Bruce Wayne in a story, and certainly not three-piece suit and power tie Bruce, ever.

[vignettelante.insanejournal.com]

Thanks for putting this back up! One of my all time favorites from old S_D.

Crimefighting Bruce is amazing. Swinging through the air, his suit trailing behind him, breaking into a place he could just walk into. He should have special Brucearangs

Why wasn't he a contender in BftC again?

Glad you like! I'm partial to it, too:)

[mysteryfan.insanejournal.com]

Now I'm suddenly thinking: Bruce Wayne would make an AWESOME Batman!

To the Brucemobile!

Re: Glad you like! I'm partial to it, too:)

[vignettelante.insanejournal.com]

"I'm running the data through the Bruce-computer!"

Imagine him on the Justice League, just some dude in a suit...on the moon.

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

Too dead.

[vignettelante.insanejournal.com]

So? Jason was in the running. D:

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

Well...I...uh...

Damn, got me. I have no wit against that.

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

The. HELL.

I wish he'd stayed this way.

[jlbarnett.insanejournal.com]

crazy stuff.