The subtext is so strong I’m not even sure it counts for friendship day

[leoboiko]

Hulk & Thing: Hard Knocks.



Tee-hee, they said “Hard”.



I don’t know where to begin. I’ll follow the White Rabbit and begin with the cover for issue 1. It speaks for itself.



So a Ben Grimm walks into a bar. But the boy he finds there is much too small for his tastes.




Then there are… butts. And… beefcake. So much beefcake.




What? Plot? Oh yes, there’s a plot. Ben is reminiscing on the past to a skeptic Hulk. He tells of that time he was battling a sardonic Doom and—the humanity!—it turned out to be a doombot. Hulk has the reaction we all had.



Then he tries to french-kiss Ben, but Ben tells him to take it easy ’cause they still got the whole night.



Ben keeps bitching about Doom, this time about how he was so meeean. Doom: “Is this misshappen clump of atoms the physique boys idolize… normal men envy…?” I’m not even kidding.



Sad Ben is sad.

Touched by his plight, Hulk reverts to Banner. “Peachy”, says the Thing (not kidding), “stop changing back!” WHAMMM! Only Hulk matters to Ben because, you see, Hulk is different. Hulk is like me. Hulk understands what it means to be a freak.

For our seventh scan, what about the part where an homophobic bigoted religious mom says they should burn in hell?



Banner tells Ben it’s his fault for lacking delicacy. Ben gets sad again. “Thought maybe a guy like you would understand…”. He pretends to leave, but really doesn’t, and of course Banner goes after him and say he’s sorry and they’re bff. Then Ben starts another story and slaps him again. And that ends the first issue of Hard Knocks.

I’m too tired to post the whole thing, so I’ll leave you with a better scan of the cover to issue 2:



It’s my first post, I hope everything is according to the rules.

Comments

[shadowpsykie]

oh god... those two covers, i can't NOT see "rough sex" scene now that you threw in all that innuendo talk..... :(

[autumn_lily]

Ben's got tough skin, imagine that's the only way he can feel it...

[recognitions]

So wait, Ben is depressed and needs a pep talk from the Hulk because Doom called him a bad name? I like the throwback reference to FF #2 but that's thin.

[leoboiko]

I was being facetious; he’s bummered by his freak status as a whole, not really by that one Doom talk. Thus the scene with the girl, etc.

Then there’s a twist motive on why he sought the Hulk, which makes Hulk angry, and Ben assures him despite the motive he was not lying and they actually relate. After that they have a lot of arguing about who won some past fight (I assume it’s another shoutout), which of course they try to solve by fighting again, and end up bff anyway.

I actually enjoyed this mini, and not just for the bara value. Ok, also for the bara value.

[aelflar]

Well I must admit I do not have a dirty mind. I casually giggle when people see subtext that flies over my head like an unladen swallow.

BUT.

Even I could not overlook this. The cover. That is all.

[icon_uk]

"African or European?"

[fifthie]

more like hard cocks

[punishermax]

Terezei is delighted by your joke.

[aelflar]

Ba-dum Tshh!

[glprime]

While I'm not always a fan of this artist's style (look at the crazy evangelical thing's face), it really works for depicting the "inhuman" nature of the Hulk and Thing. (yes, I know this artist also did that Inhumans mini)

I really like depictions of Ben Grimm as just having a rocky callousing all over his body, but still being pretty human, with regular eyes and a nose. The hands, though, are always going to be awkward three-fingered mitts.

I love Ben Grimm. Great character, always with the hidden depths and people underestimating him.

[misterbug]

A bigoted religious Mom who apparently was possessed by a character out of Little House On The Prarie. Seriously, I doubt even the most extremist Teabaggers talk that way IRL.

[leoboiko]

I’ve had Pentecostals talk to me (and friends) like that. In a classroom, in front of everyone. Mostly because we used heavy metal t-shirts.

[misterbug]

Even the title has subtext. Not "Hulk vs. Thing", not "Thing-Hulk Teamup", but "Hulk/Thing"...similar to Reed/Sue, or Bat/Cat.

[liara_shadowsong]

Or the Superman/Batman comic?

[kirke_novak]

I really like the art, it's gritty ina GOOD way.

Also - OTP.

[grimmbear]

The art makes my sphincter bleed. When did Ben become made of Carrot?

[darkblade]

In the very early issues he looked more organic kind of like this and only developed into the familar rocky form over time. Why he looks like that again for this mini? I got no good answers but at least the design has some logic behind it.

[morgana006]

....Wow.

That cover is just - I can't see it as anything but text now.

[k_red]

Wow. I hadn't even read your captions before I saw that cover and I just thought "Damn, Marvel finally went there." They didn't, but I love that scans_daily has taught me slash first, story later.

[shadowpsykie]

good so it ISNTonly me :D

[ex_cherrybomb869]

That's not even TRYING to be subtle!

[neev]

I think I've seen this doujinshi before... :V

This art is fascinating to me - it's hideous and yet I'm sort of drawn to it.

[aelflar]

Yeah, I know. It makes them look very 'squishy'.

[autumn_lily]

Sooooo.....who do you think is 'pitching' and who's 'catching' in this scenario?

[leoboiko]

Ben is totally the uke, just look at him. As someone else pointed, even the title of the series follow the Standard Yaoi/Slash Pairing Name Convention.

[badficwriter]

Plumbers CRACK!

[autumn_lily]

Given relative size, I think that's plumber's abyss at this point...

[nezchan]

My first thought looking at the cover was "Why is Ben eating J'onn J'onzz?"

Also, is it a deliberate joke that puny Banner's tan pants suddenly become plus-plus-plus sized bright purple ones?

[autumn_lily]

Gamma radiation: not only causes your clothes not to fit, but also not be in style!

[fredneil.livejournal.com]

Have I got this right? The Thing, one of the two strongest non-god heros in the Marvel universe, decides he wants the other one as a drinking buddy, so he smacks around non-superpowered, non-invulnerable Bruce Banner several times, and non-Hulk Banner still tries to talk to The Thing rather than putting as much distance as possible between the two of them?

[crinos]

To be fair, Banner has a natural defense mechanism where is someone attacks him he auto hulks out. Which is the reason Banner hasn't committed suicide yet; whenever he tries he just Hulks out at the last minute.

I just assume Ben knows this, and Bruce also knows this.

[crinos]

Ben looks like that guy from Event Horizon after he went all evil.

[fredneil.livejournal.com]

Ben still gets in one punch before Bruce Hulks out and that punch is enough to knock Bruce across the room and destroy some furniture. Even if turning into the Hulk heals everything, I can't imagine Banner wanting to relive the experience.