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Hulk & Thing: Hard Knocks.

Tee-hee, they said “Hard”.

I don’t know where to begin. I’ll follow the White Rabbit and begin with the cover for issue 1. It speaks for itself.

So a Ben Grimm walks into a bar. But the boy he finds there is much too small for his tastes.

Then there are… butts. And… beefcake. So much beefcake.

What? Plot? Oh yes, there’s a plot. Ben is reminiscing on the past to a skeptic Hulk. He tells of that time he was battling a sardonic Doom and—the humanity!—it turned out to be a doombot. Hulk has the reaction we all had.

Then he tries to french-kiss Ben, but Ben tells him to take it easy ’cause they still got the whole night.

Ben keeps bitching about Doom, this time about how he was so meeean. Doom: “Is this misshappen clump of atoms the physique boys idolize… normal men envy…?” I’m not even kidding.

Sad Ben is sad.

Touched by his plight, Hulk reverts to Banner. “Peachy”, says the Thing (not kidding), “stop changing back!” WHAMMM! Only Hulk matters to Ben because, you see, Hulk is different. Hulk is like me. Hulk understands what it means to be a freak.

For our seventh scan, what about the part where an homophobic bigoted religious mom says they should burn in hell?

Banner tells Ben it’s his fault for lacking delicacy. Ben gets sad again. “Thought maybe a guy like you would understand…”. He pretends to leave, but really doesn’t, and of course Banner goes after him and say he’s sorry and they’re bff. Then Ben starts another story and slaps him again. And that ends the first issue of Hard Knocks.

I’m too tired to post the whole thing, so I’ll leave you with a better scan of the cover to issue 2:

It’s my first post, I hope everything is according to the rules.
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