Fantastic Four #563: Reed/Johnny = canon?

[galateus.insanejournal.com]

Doom approves of this slash pairing! (Look at me shoehorn this into the tailend of the theme week...)

As of January 2009, that is:

So yeah. Dimension-hopping omnicidal maniacs aside, parallel!Reed's got a "sister-in-law," Johnny is "Jack Richards"... it's actually really subtle and ambiguous enough for the (generalized) fanboys to let it slide. The first time I read this I wondered if it was a universe where Johnny was Reed's brother instead, and J was married to...someone, possibly to Sue in a totally-not-incest way, but then I read comments online and was all, "ohhh."

There might have also been some stuff in the main universe about Valeria having a recap blog, Johnny having a threesome with two fangirls dressed up like Storm and Scarlet Witch, and Ben Grimm's upcoming nuptials to Debbie, but seriously: Reed/Johnny!

So. Undeniable proof that gay marriage leads to supervillains run amok and the downfall of civilization?

Comments

[tacobob.insanejournal.com]

I thought Mister Fantastic didn't have any organs? Or was that only the Ultimate version?

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

Reed very definitely has organs, otherwise how would his eyes work, how could he drown, and and exactly how would Franklin and Valeria have been possible?

[tacobob.insanejournal.com]

Well, this is at least from the Ultimate version..And Wikipedia:

According to Ultimate Fantastic Four #7, Ultimate Reed's body has been radically transformed, and his only internal organ is a "bacterial stack" that generates energy (presumably from air) to fuel his body. This obviates the need to explain, for example, how his circulatory system can pump his blood when his body is stretched the length of a football field; he simply has none. Lacking a digestive system, he has no need to eat or drink. Similarly, because he has no lungs, Ultimate Reed doesn't need to breathe in any conventional human sense and can survive in environments lacking oxygen; however, during his time in the N-Zone, where the atmosphere is essentially acid, he is unable to breath the air there, suggesting that he still requires air to a certain degree.

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

I'm tempted to draw a comparison with Laurence Olivier and Dustin Hoffman. When they were making "Marathon Man" together, Method-actor Hoffman would run around a lot before a scene where he was supposed to have been running, so he could plausibly convey exhaustion. At one point Olivier turned to him and said sympathetically "Dear boy, why don't you try acting? It's so much easier?"

Pseudoscience can be enormous fun but every now and again in comics it's probably better to leave as "It's hand-wavy science-y stuff, nothing to see here"

[tacobob.insanejournal.com]

Gotta agree with you on that one.

Still, I HATE it when writers have to show how much of a badass(Tm)their new bad guys are by either showing them kill off characters written by the book's previous writers, characters that aren't being used at the moment (Like in Starman with the Mist's daughter) or show them bumping off alternate reality versions of the main characters.

And I LOVE how the dead heroes are all lined up so..Were they doing the Conga when the new evil attacked!

[hammster.livejournal.com (from insanejournal.com)]

Dude that's awesome and I did not pick up on it either. Durr.

I think I would actually like FF a lot better if Reed and Johnny were together instead of Reed and Sue >_> I just find Reed/Sue kind of boring. idek.

I could see Johnny and Sue sharing

[politicalzombie.insanejournal.com]

Or heck, threesome, as someone before has pointed out that their vibe isn't entirely sibby, but I think it's more of a thing where they share Reed with a lot of subtext.

I can see Reed and Johnny sleeping together, but I can't see them working out because their personality is just well, not good together. In the universe where they are marry, they will need a lot of go between from Sue and Ben and everyone. Reed is an invert with no social personality, and Johnny is really out there.

Reed and Sue can be boring, but I think it's in an awesome kind of way, especially in the collected books of The Resurrection of Nicolas Scratch and Fantastic Four: Civil War. In TRNS, there is an excellent story, "Private Lives, Public Faces", where a law employee of the FF who had been suffering marital rape asks Susan for help, because the husband is also a very good lawyer and the court couldn't protect her. Even though Susan felt wrong about using her superhero powers this way, she still went ahead and threatened the husband, reminding him that she can shove her forcefields anywhere and leave no mark, and that her husband is a genius with access to satellites to make sure that he will never hurt another woman again.

Then in Civil War, the break up scene between Sue and Reed was just a tearjerker. Susan confronts Reed with his fear with losing everything over confronting the authorities, a fear that lingers because of his uncle (though she doesn't know?), and Reed just breaks down and ask, if there was something wrong with that. It was just wibbly all around.

Plus, even though Reed is Mr.Elastic, Sue can still restrain him, so we have forcefield bondage (http://community.livejournal.com/noscans_daily/59076.html).

[foxhack.insanejournal.com]

After seeing Johnny wearing those earrings? Friggin' obvious. ;P

[xlineartx.insanejournal.com]

Isn't Valeria, like, two? Wouldn't cosplaying Wanda be in ridiculously poor taste? Debbie? And how could Johnny possibly look Ororo in the eye ever again?

I also don't understand how fanboys could have a problem with alternate universe gay. It is an alternate universe! Things are different! Like sexual orientations!

[akodo_rokku.insanejournal.com]

Millar's made Valeria into Daddy's Little Girl: she's hyper-intelligent and mature far beyond her years.

Meanwhile Franklin is some kind of bizarre Dennis the Menace throwback.

Personally I liked Frank and Val best in SI: FF, where they both showed above-average intelligence and technological aptitude because, well, they'r growing up around all that stuff.

[xlineartx.insanejournal.com]

I...

SMART KIDS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.

I like them best when they're hanging around the Power Pack. Smarty-Pants! Great codename, or greatest codename?

[arilou_skiff.insanejournal.com]

To be fair, ridicilously poor taste is kind of what Johnny is all about.

[statham1986.insanejournal.com]

My issue with the alternate-universe gay was the glee that Millar took in explaining this to Wizard a while ago, as if the sole defining characteristics of these versions of the FF was that they were gay, and that it was hilarious because of that.

So I've no issue with the idea, but when you do it for the sole purpose of a gay joke, then that just annoys me, largely because Millar used to be capable of so much more.

[galateus.insanejournal.com]

*googles* Oh. (http://www.wizarduniverse.com/061008millarverse.html)

Jack Storm and Dr. Reed Richards are lovers, and Sue Storm is kind of the skanky sister that's living with them in the Baxter Building.

Yeah, combined with the "laughs Millar" narration, that... did not come off well. Maybe it's the evil laughter of anticipating troll comments on your new slashfic? Hopefully.

[galateus.insanejournal.com]

This schoolteacher, Debbie Green... yeah, I don't know either. Wikipedia says Ben proposed to her after only dating six weeks. Alarm bells?

The preview (http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=preview&id=1919) has the threesome aftermath &c. in it.

[stig.insanejournal.com]

I loved the implication created by a post on old s_d that in the wreckage, Carol didn't die but just fell asleep out of exhausted depression.

[galateus.insanejournal.com]

Well now I can't unsee it. Not just her either...

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

Could I just add my own persnickety comment that I HATE THE MISUSE OF THE WORD "DIMENSION" in comics?

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

Ummm... Given that alternate dimensions have been a sci-fi staple since before "The Adventures of Bulukiya", in the "One Thousand and One Nights", why pick on comics particularly?

[queenrikki.insanejournal.com]

The Fantastic Four hold a special place in my heat. They were my first comic book and I've always liked the familyness of it all. That said, there's a part of me that would totally love to see this. Then again, I also wrote Sue/Johnny fanfiction as a kid so...(and I totally stand behind that).

Thank You, mightygodking.com...

[stig.insanejournal.com]

Re: Thank You, mightygodking.com...

[politicalzombie.insanejournal.com]

I can't help but notice how Mr.Rogers also know about the infamous gay bar.

[pyrotwilight.insanejournal.com]

Isn't that the Marquis of Death, not Doom?

[okkult3000.insanejournal.com]

It was the Viscount of Vice.

[mullon.insanejournal.com]

Where the gay Fantastic Four failed, the straight Fantastic Four will prevail!

[jupiterrhode.insanejournal.com]

Naturally.