The Legion: Idiots Without Feelings

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

So much wrong, so little I can post. But I'll do my best.
So, today my thesis is the Legion are fucking idiots. Here is evidence.

Finally looking at the famous first Computo story, I have to say: I never realized just how stupid the Legion were. And how heartless. And how flip they were with the issue of death and mutilation.
So, Brainiac makes Computo. Computo makes more Computos. Marauding giant robot war ensues. Well, not much of a war, as apparently they have no fucking defenses against giant robots in the 30th century.

That's right, in case you'd never seen the actual incident: blink and you'll miss it, the death of Triplicate Girl. Oh, they do have a funeral. And I ask you to pause a moment and enjoy a truly cracky panel. And look, they comment on the amusing irony of someone's death right on her marker! Her folks must have loved that. I guess these ARE teens. Dicks. Anyway...

Hate Face. I want a story with Hate Face.
But hey, it's okay! Only one of her is PERMANENTLY DEAD FOREVER. But no big whoop, just a change of name, and judging by her smile, some really good drugs, and they're set! And we finally realize why they let her in: cannon fodder.

It's time for Proty to start sacrificing himself, but just a piece at a time. And to turn himself into a dildo to get away. Now, a piece of Proty's biomass is, as said here, actually lost for good. This is Cham's pet. It's like his leg was pulled off, and Cham makes a joke about his weight.
But as you can see from his cutesy lines, we were supposed to want Proty to suffer and die. I certainly did.

And here's the Legion destroying time. Seriously, dicks. (yeah yeah, he gets mindwiped, but still) Also: apparently Superboy now thinks the Penguin will be an actual penguin.

And then they let Brainy make something else! I will nickname him Badly Drawn Robot. And...we decide to stop making sense altogether.

I remind you: Brainy's power is being smart.

In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen and all in between, the Legion are fucking idiots, and dicks on top of it. I thank you for your time.

Comments

[rab62.insanejournal.com]

In fairness, none of the other memorials were of Legionnaires or written by Legionnaires. Your quarrel is with an entire universe of heroes.

[idreading.insanejournal.com]

Maybe the supervillains who defeated them wrote the memorials. (Can banyo-peels write?)

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

It was probably written by Banyo Boy, the malevolent villain who was one with all the banyo-fruit in the universe... and who had an alibi for the time of her death, honest!

[salamangkiero.insanejournal.com]

In the philippines...Banyo means...comfort room or toilet.

excuse me while I have a bit of a brain crash from the imagery...

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

No, no, you take all the time you need... sorry about that.

What CAN they have been thinking?

[fredneil.livejournal.com (from insanejournal.com)]

I thought Beast Boy was a Legionaire?

[rab62.insanejournal.com]

In fact, he was a one-time ally, later turned Legion foe in his second and final appearance...which was the previous issue before the Computo story began, so all that would have been fresh in readers' minds.

Although...hmm...now that you mention it, this raises the possibility that since Beast Boy died right after fighting the Legion, they may indeed have been the ones responsible for that memorial. I may have been too hasty in saying none of the other memorials were written by Legionnaires.

(And yes, in old school LSH fandom you'd better believe we spent months discussing stuff like this. In agonizing detail. Is it any wonder we all had to be institutionalized?)

[kamino_neko.insanejournal.com]

BB was one of the Heroes of Lallor, none of whom became Legionnaires - though Duplicate Boy stuck around, since he was dating Shrinking Violet for a time.

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

Indeed it is! At LEAST one universe.