Archie's 80th anniversary: The Man from R.I.V.E.R.D.A.L.E. vs. the Toymaker

[alicemacher]

Throughout much of the sixties, glitzy spy films and T.V. series (such as The Man from U.N.C.L.E.) were all the rage. Thus was born, in 1966, yet another alternate version of the core Archie characters: The Man from R.I.V.E.R.D.A.L.E. These stories, which ran through 1967, saw the teen agents of P.O.P. (Protect Our Planet) use their wits and high-tech gadgets to keep the world safe from their rival agency, C.R.U.S.H. (acronym never explained, but it's a play on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.'s THRUSH (no periods, and also never explained)).


From "Play Deadly," Life with Archie #55 (Nov. 1966). Story by Frank "Did this guy ever sleep?" Doyle. Art by Bill Vigoda and Mario Acquaviva. 4 1/2 of 14 pages.

As our story opens, the Toymaker, a C.R.U.S.H. operative, has just sicced his tiny toy robot soldiers, armed with poison-tipped bayonets, on agents A.R.C.H.I.E. and V.E.R.O.N.I.C.A. (no, the teen agents' acronymic names never get explained either) so he can steal their briefcase. As he sinks to his knees, A.R.C.H.I.E. calls J.U.G.H.E.A.D., who's just minutes away. J.U.G.H.E.A.D. uses the "sonic shock horn" on his bicycle to clear his colleagues' bodies of the Toymaker's toxin.

V.E.R.O.N.I.C.A. deduces the Toymaker must've found out about the briefcase, which contains a microfilm for Mr. Lodge, from her robot toy poodle which she'd won in a raffle, unaware it was rigged to relay P.O.P. intel to the villains. Fortunately, our heroes had attached a bug to their own briefcase, allowing them to track its signal to the Toymaker's hideout.









Moments later, the P.O.P. agents look on in horror as toy planes fly through their window and, with a barrage of tiny bullets, execute the toy poodle for its failure. ("They don't allow mistakes in that organization," V.E.R.O.N.I.C.A. says.) Then they return to the apartment building to stop the Toymaker.







Nevertheless, A.R.C.H.I.E. and V.E.R.O.N.I.C.A. take the risk, and the former, after feigning surrender and allowing the Toymaker to approach him for frisking, zaps him with a hand buzzer. This buys V.E.R.O.N.I.C.A. a few seconds to peek downstairs and take note of the Toymaker's factory there. Recovering, the villain tells them there's no point in going down there, as his toys will overpower and destroy them. So A.R.C.H.I.E. calls agent R.E.G.G.I.E.





Ronnie's bratty cousin Leroy had made occasional appearances in mainstream Archie stories since the forties. Our heroes tell the Toymaker no toy lasts long around "the most destructive kid in the world."