Amalgam Universe Part 16

[glprime]

Welcome once again, to the major comics crossover event that made readers say, "...Wait, What?"

We're throwing comics at the wall here to see what sticks. (why yes, I have just finished a Portal 2 binge.)

Combining (broadly) the Doom Patrol and X-Force, two misfit bands of tragic mutants led by a rather unbalanced, near-sociopathic Futurist gets us...




In New York City, a disparate group of costumed metamutant heroes have been gathered at the defunct and rather literally named X-Building (more World's Fair structures should be re-purposed for super-heroics) by some Mysterious Benefactor that knows all about them.



Whoo! Awesome characterization for Ms. Janet Van Dyne! She's really come a long ways from the original '60s comics, amirite? And dig that '90s art! (it's pencilled by Roger Cruz, with inks by Jon Heldredge)

Roll Call!

SHATTERSTARFIRE (Starfire/Shatterstar plus elements of Incredible Hulk's K'ai storyline)

With the number of times she spouts "Zal!" you have to wonder if she wasn't just exiled by her people for her constant offensive blaspheming.

BEASTLING (Changeling aka Beast Boy/Beast)


DIAL H.U.S.K. (Dial H.E.R.O./Husk plus each transforation is a new character)


FERRO-MAN (Ferro Lad/Colossus)


ELASTI-GIRL (Elasti-Girl/The Wasp plus elements of Domino)




I really want to start using that to introduce myself to new people. "My name is ____ and I am from YOUR FUTURE!" Wearing cybernetics would help to make it more exciting, however.

The newly formed Patrol is taken by their prophetic leader to the fortress of one DR. DOOMSDAY aka "The Man Who Fought The JLA to a Standstill" aka "The Monster Who Cannot Be Killed" aka "Thanoseid's Best Bud."

(interesting side-note: Doc's energy blasts have the unique sound effect of VDOOM! That's ego-centrism the likes of which only DOOM and his alternate-reality counterparts are capable of achieving)

While delaying the villain, Niles discovers Doomsday's plot to cross the dimensional barrier and retrieve the (unknowingly merged) Marvel and DC heroes, bringing them under his control. Doomsday's attempts to regain the advantage ends up destroying his portal machinery, and somehow causing paralysis in Cable's legs.

I know it's Narrative Causality bending the universe, but good lord, the man already has cybernetic prosthetics, how on Earth can his cyborg legs be permanently out of commission from a physical blow?

Carrying on to another time, another adventure of the fledgling team (Exciting X-Patrol #1 pencilling by Bryan Hitch, inks by Paul Neary)...





Another example of Narrative Causality; this guy started out as the DC regular, Brother Blood, but eventually fell into being Brother Brood.

Back at the X-Building...




To the vehicle!

While I like Elasti-Girl being the 2nd in command (a person with an innate skill at figuring and acting on odds), Janet's idea of "plan" is Operation: GIGNGOA
(Get In/Get Niles/Get Out Alive).


"Prez: Master of Kung Fu"? Oh, good grief...

So, Niles can cure himself of the Brood infection... but he'd die of the Techno-Virus. He has to choose between dying as part of the Brood (and not knowing if the horror of a Brood-infected metamutant Armageddon comes to pass) or dying from bad '90s writing (it's the silent killer among fanboys).

Meanwhile... the X-Patrol makes their way back to the cavern Niles and Shatterstarfire were hiding in, where Beastling wonders why there's so many stalactites without corresponding stalagmites on the ground. Cue the Aliens homage.





So much crack, it's hard to know where to begin:

- ARTEMISTY KNIGHT. They're ripping ligaments they're stretching so hard.

- Shatterstarfire was actually right to worry about Terra-X's ability to avoid the Brood, showing that crazed instincts trump logic every time in comics.

- Terra-Brood is only concerned with preg/mpreg fantasies of her ex-teammates (Wouldn't that be an interesting supervillain?)

- The combining of two realities leads to a weakening of the Fourth Wall, as everyone comments on how many times the Traitor always gets another chance to betray people.

What becomes of the X-Patrol? Do they succeed in saving Niles and preventing the Brood/Metamutant destruction the future? What does a Techno-Virus
infection do to you? All but one of these questions will be unanswered forever. The one that will be answered shall be revealed... now.


YIKES.

That's all for the X-Patrol. If you want more of that mess, track down the issues in your nearest dollar bin retailer (or more likely, the net).

I'll be taking a break from Amalgam Comics for a bit and jumping in to building the Resurrection Man profile.



14 1/3 pages behind the cut, 7 from X-Patrol #1 and 7 1/3 from Exciting X-Patrol #1.

Comments

[aaron_bourque]

The wonderful world of THONGS.

[glprime]

Amazing that Dial H.U.S.K. still has losing her skin as part of her powers, and yet she's the most clothed.

[icon_uk]

I never could work out how her powers was supposed to work when she was wearing clothes in the MAIN MU, I'm not going to start now.

[jlbarnett]

I figure her skin cells spread onto whatever clothing she wears, making it a part of her body. Thus it can be ripped away and replaced just like her regular skin. When she removes it when she wants to take it off, carefully so it doesn't tear, the skins cells die leaving it as the material it always was.

[blake_reitz]

Shatterstarfire is just...such...a name.

[jcbaggee]

But for a closer runner up, Artemisty Knight.

[jlbarnett]

they were either no long trying by that point or the effort of merging so many diverse elements had driven them completely off the deep end.

The funny thing is I think Artemis Knight is a decent name.

[glprime]

Yes it is. Unfortunately they named her "arteMISTY KNIGHT." It's so badly forcing together Artemis and Misty Knight. Ugh.

[jlbarnett]

I know. My point was all they had to do was drop two letters and it would've been great

[arbre_rieur]

Are you kidding? "Prez: Master of Kung Fu" was the best part!

[arbre_rieur]

Also, I know the Marvel half of the Ashkani, but is there a DC half or is it simply a reference to ashcans?

[arbre_rieur]

Also, also, for the life of me I can't figure out the DC half of Microstar Micronauts.

[pyrotwilight]

The Darkstars?

[ladytimedramon]

I suspect that since the Raveniya character is also based on Raven, it might have a reference to the Azarathians.

[tacitoz]

Why is the only thing I can think of whether those girls wearing these weird bathingsuit-like outfits shaave their nether regions every day or use wax...Seriously, that would be such a hassle.

[glprime]

With her notable setup upstairs, is Shatterstarfire's downstairs-?

Dammit! Now you got me going down that path! (and what a way to go... *rimshot*)

[halloweenjack]

Still trying to figure out how Power Girl did it, thanks to that one cover that's been posted here.

[lakrids404]

EXXTREME CRACK(s)

[wizardru]

I really WANT to like this, but it's...too much. It's like cotton candy: a little is great...a lot makes you sick to your stomach. This is trying SO HARD and just reading a couple of pages makes my head hurt. It's not bad, strictly speaking, just so BUSY.

It's like the creators came up with about 50 hybrid-character ideas and then they ride that horse until bloody foam is coming out of it's mouth and its eyes are wild with fear and madness before it collapses and dies. It's too clever for it's own good. It falls somewhere between a master's class in comics nerd lore and punnery. Artemisty Knight? Wow. I mean, just....WOW.

[thanekos]

I like how natural Hawk and Dagger sounds.

The Imperial Suicide Squad, a little less so.. but Amanda Deathbird is a cool name, so it works.

[sharky_chan]

The Imperial Suicide Squad sounds like Star Wars meets Life of Brian, and that's a combination I can live with!

[icon_uk]

"I ask you, what has the Shi'ar Imperium ever done for us?"

[shadowpsykie]

is it just me... or is Shatterstarfire's costume HERE alot similar to her NuCostume?

[mrstatham]

Not really. Looks more like standard Starfire mixed with some standard-issue Liefeld StupidityElements in the form of that ridiculous headpiece. I'm really surprised someone didn't just slap some pouches on her to be safe.

[dr_archeville]

I know it's Narrative Causality bending the universe, but good lord, the man already has cybernetic prosthetics, how on Earth can his cyborg legs be permanently out of commission from a physical blow?

The "primitive tech" of the modern era can't be used to repair the hyper-advanced cybernetics from his future?


Weirdly, I think Terra + Terrax = Terra-X kinda works.

[jlbarnett]

well later on the mention the t-o virus or a variation of it. It's probably not cybernetics.

[icon_uk]

more World's Fair structures should be re-purposed for super-heroics

The All Star Squadron used to meet in the Perisphere and Trylon from the 1939 World's Fair.

[icon_uk]

Oh, and...

Terra-Brood is only concerned with preg/mpreg fantasies of her ex-teammates (Wouldn't that be an interesting supervillain?)

See Evil!SexuallyIndeterminate!Raven in New Titans....

[pyrotwilight]

Goodness how I love the crack that is Amalgam.

Shatterstarfire! <3

Paige as WonderGirl/Donna which is a combo of Donna and WonderMan's outfits. :0

[jlbarnett]

and the blonde hair adds in a little of Cassie even if she hadn't been created yet.

[pyrotwilight]

Eh, a little, but Paige is already blond so while a funny coincidence I wouldn't really think of her.

[rickperry]

DC and Marvel should make more of their combinded characters!

[darkblade]

I am holding out for Daken Wayne, the mysterious son of Darkclaw and some Talia/Deathstrike character.

[jlbarnett]

Marvel and DC's current staffs are to busy being doppelgangers of each other to get along to do something like this. You know what they say about familiarity breeding contempt.

[halloweenjack]

I'm liking Hitch's art here more than what it eventually became, even though 1) it's very reminiscent of Alan Davis (not that that's a bad thing--quite the opposite) and 2) he does that thing where a character holds their hand up in front of their face about every third panel.

[ladytimedramon]

Beastling = so much win *_*

I'm glad you got to my favorite pair of Amalgams before taking a break :D

BTW, I suspect Ferro Man is supposed to also have a touch of Robotman, as the Robotman replacement of the DP group.

If this was a regular comic, I would so buy it. But right now I'm boycotting all US produced comics in favor of manga/manhwa.

[proteus_lives]

Oh, this takes me back.