scans_daily

Some people have lives. I have comic books. I posted this earlier to my LJ, because I'm desperately trying to avoid writing some stuff for work and yes, the deadline is tomorrow. Now I'm sharing this with you, because I love you as much as Midnighter loves murder.

Some panels are NSFW!

Ok, I can't really say I'm miffed at Stormwatch – I get what they are trying to do. Apollo and Midnighter had always been a couple and had married early in The Authority run, and the writers of Stormwatch want to show us how they could become a couple; show their relationship progressing naturally from “two guys who like to kill people together” to “married with a kid”, like they would do with any straight couple. I just really miss knowing that those two are married and together, you know. D:

I killed some time by reading every issue of The Authority – spinoffs and specials included – I could get my hands on (with the exception of World's End because fuck this shit, guys) and remembering why I love them as a couple. On one hand, they are ruthless and merciless murderers (though Midnighter takes a far greater pleasure at his job than Apollo), on the other hand, they are so embarrassingly in love with each other, they are like two kittens cuddling together in a basket.

One thing I've noticed though, something I swear I never paid any attention to before, was that while Apollo and Midnighter kiss, cuddle, are shown in bed together and have their share of sexual innuendos, they never ever, not once are shown in a situation that could be described as “sexual”. The most raunchy thing they ever do is Midnighter getting an (implied) erection when tied up with Apollo. That's the very same issue that shows Angie and Jack naked and engaged in sexual act, and then shows them post coital.

Yes, that's the most ~sexy they ever get and it's in an R-rated Lobo crossover issue, with the art so ugly it makes me cry. I'm starting to suspect that the ugly art somehow enables homosexual innuendos, because the second raunchiest thing we ever see, is accompanied with the artwork that can be only described as “making Liefeld look like a talented artist”

I find it then really ironic that the most we ever find out about their sex life is from that Midnighter and Grifter crossover series, that was written by Chuck “I don't want no gays in them comic books, depriving them children. WHY IS NO ONE THINKING ABOUT THE CHILDREN EXCEPT FOR ME!? BTW, here is teenage Spoiler getting pregnant. You know, for kids!” Dixon. See, Midnighter is The Man here so it's ok! Fun fact: girls have cooties.

And in the very next issue, for those who need something less subtle than the sledgehammer in the face, Grifter says it all.

Now, those of you that know something about the subject will say “But Kirke, what about that time when Jenny was scared and wanted to sleep in their bed and Mindy was “hell no” and then he said he lost his boner?” Never happened. That scene gives me such a second hand embarrassment I refuse to acknowledge it existence. This is my post, I can do it if I want to.

Let's move on. The first time we are introduced to those two in the new Authority, they have just spent years sleeping on the street to avoid the capture. Jenny Sparks manages to convince them to give her a hand fighting Gamorra.

And here is Midnighter introducing himself properly to the masses

We know that DC named Apollo "Andrew" but I don't care, for me, he'll always be Bart or Ernie.

The first time we see the signs of affections is just a few issues after this

And then the subtext becomes text.

Then, after Jenny Sparks dies, Apollo and Midnighter get married and adpot Jenny Q. No scans cos fugly wedding costumes are fugly.

Human On The Inside is the comic book that made me fall in love with these two. I know it has its problems, like the fact that 90% of the time everyone are holding a idiotball and have amnesia at the same time. But this scene... this scene alone melted me. HOTI is the first TPB I've ever bought.

Alas, it's not always fun and games in the authorityland and when Danny kisses Midnighter (who forgets that he can fight... eh... idtiotball), this happens:

I keep saying metas shouldn't date but no one ever listens to me and here are the results. Domestic violence that could level cities.

We need something nicer now

Aw, isn't that cute? No angst in sight and

:/ Screw you, guys. Also, I'd like to point outt hat it's Midnighter who leaves Apollo - 3 times! And Apollo waits for him, faithfully, each time. Shocking.

Anyway, for most part Midnighter gets to be the guy who saves the day and avenges awful things done to Apollo (at times terrible, awful things D:). Not always though, sometimes Apollo is the one who kicks ass for Mindy. Ususally, by throwing people around or dropping them from great hights.

Now it's time for some more family time with Jenny Q

It wouldn't be The Authority without Kev Hawkins aka the luckiest unlucky git on the planet. He crosses Midnighter and Apollo and yet, lives. The wonders! They do not case!

The next person who called Midnighter a f__ got a fist through their skull - that's something to ponder about.

More Kev? Why of course! (favorite comic book scene EVER!)

Midnighter got together with Kev for a pint after that and a s a result, we get something that I can only describe as "gem". Thank you, Garth Ennis, for providing us with stuff like that.

For every Chuck Dixon, there is one Garth Ennis and I have a happy.

Oh and this as well because lol

Not enough Garth? You want more? YOU GET MORE!

Midnighter=Dave forevery.

But speaking of people doing bad things to Apollo and Midnighter doing bad things to them, this one made me laugh (not like that Other Time, You Know When, when I cried)